men behaving badly

A boy's story, buried like the others before him, half told

2011-06-06T01:37:00.003-04:00

I ask myself, what can we do to help? It is perhaps at such moments that we feel helpless.

A sad story of abuse of disabled children in the state system.

May a ray of hope and love shine on all in their darkest hours.

I just don't listen

2011-05-23T11:54:00.002-04:00

There was a Hong Kong drama on TV in which one of the characters said that "sexual orientation can change or can be changed" during a discussion of homosexuality in the plot. Guess they can get away with that in these parts of the world.

Thoughts in May 2011

2011-05-09T21:20:00.006-04:00

I was thinking about what I said when I first came back to Singapore, 2 years ago now. About how conversations here never seem to be much more than about numbers, money,... is this how it is, is this how Singapore seems.

LGBT in Singapore, their (lack of) rights, the (short) history, the nonsense, is this why I won't stay?

Flashes in my Mind

2011-02-04T09:33:00.002-05:00

Sometimes scenes of my life, from long ago, flash vividly in my mind. Childhood times, somewhere in Indiana - many places, images of San Francisco, the bright blue sky, brilliant sun shining on hills curving away on St Croix, lost in a fairy-tale European city, at a street corner in a make-believe town with buildings like those in Frederick, or New York, underneath a beautiful white snow blanket, people in dark green down jackets.

San Francisco, June 10th to 16th, 2010

2010-06-16T21:04:00.004-04:00

San Francisco Dreaming

2010-06-16T19:33:00.006-04:00

Shaun Halper, currently a Ph.D. student in History at the University of California, Berkeley, was featured as San Francisco's Genreman not too long ago. He graduated from Columbia University in New York in 2005 and writes sometimes for the Huffington Post.

Here is his mesmerizing picture and his interview for Genre Magazine that I have faithfully reproduced.

Just one thing, John and I never quite made it to Dolores Park. Ok, I lied - final thing: I think Dan likes smart Jewish men with bright eyes and a tuft of black hair.

Genreman
Genre Magazine features your hometown hotties. Trust us, these are guys you need to meet.

SAN FRANCISCO
Shaun Halper
Occupation: PhD Student, History
Age: 26
Height: 6'1
Weight: 175
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown

Favorite Spots in Your City:
Gym: Golds
Bar: Underground SF
Restaurant: Farallon
Retailer: Diesel
Place to Hang: Dolores Park

What's your favorite form of entertainment? Where in your city do you go for it?
Circuit parties: Fresh at Ruby Skye.

What do you like best about your city?
Gay Pride.

Where do you go Friday night to let loose after a stressful work week?
M4M at Underground SF (Haight between Fillmore and Webster).

Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Night owl.

Describe your coming out experience.
Many years later, I still have trouble accepting that I won't have a house with white picket, wife, two kids, and a dog scenario.

Boxers, briefs or neither?
Boxer briefs.

Who's your favorite band or musical act?
Ofer Nissim from Tel Aviv spins the best house music around.

Do you believe traditional monogamy can work for a gay couple?
Why is this a gay specific question?

What's your favorite drink?
Vodka Clementine and Soda.

Biggest challenge facing gay men today?
Lack of legal equality before the law.

Where do you find the hottest guys in your city?
Joshua J Parties.

Describe "good in bed."
Being with someone you love (in chains).

Does size matter?
The size of his heart and brain matter.

Where is your favorite man-watching spot?
Baker Beach.

Will you ever marry?
Yes.

What is your most sinful pleasure?
Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Your most sexy body part we can't see in your photo?
My boyfriend says my ass.

Favorite place to go on a date?
Drive up to Tomales Bay for Oysters and picnic at Point Reyes.

How important are politics to you?
Search for my articles on Huffingpost.com

Something you shop for online?
Lots of books on History, Politics, and Art.

The ONE thing you want to do before you die?
Take care of everyone I leave behind.

One-on-one sex always or sometimes a threesome?
I'm too self-absorbed to not have someone give me their full attention.

Crying when I met you

2010-06-14T00:48:00.007-04:00

The orange glow of the unfettered Californian sun, from its low perch near the horizon still above the san franciscan rowhouses, basked all the men and women on the streets of San Francisco as I strode up the incline in the Castro, the cold wind that I remember always and well caressing, brushing, whipping us.

He was dressed in a solid black T-shirt and chequered dark reddish-on-white shorts, and was walking brisking down the incline in the cold evening with his small dog as I passed him. He was as tall as Dan and had the same dark eyes and fine features, while his build, haircut and the shape of his fine head resembled that of the young ironman in Frederick. He stopped outside the trendy Mexican grill while his friend, or so I thought, was inside. I walked by him again, on purpose. Did he have the same pensive look as the one Dan sported during that time in Purdue?

Later, as I sat on the streetcar trundling its way up the San Franciscan thoroughfare, the chilling wind blowing in my face, I dreamed myself asking him, telling him, that he resembled a friend of mine, and that I can't get you out of my mind, tell me your name. People, my friend and travel companion, I did not notice as dreamy San Francisco flashed by the windows. I imagined and fantasized his life in San Francisco, and I dreamed my life in San Francisco, and behind those wet eyes, I dreamed.

Tennis reflection III

2009-12-25T00:26:00.000-05:00

Played tennis yesterday but wasn't too happy with the quality of my tennis. Here are some of my thoughts in retrospect.

Serve: I actually got to the court a lot early and practiced the serve some. I thought the practice serves were decent, I tried to hit them consistently with some spin and some power. But when I got to the games, they became weaker and erratic. I think perhaps I need to just calm down and hit them like in practice.

Forehand: Somehow I feel that I am rushed for time during games, when during practice rallies I could hit them with more power, spin and accuracy. I think the key is to hit them with a smooth stroke and better timing, so the racquet head speed would be much quicker and less preparation time would be needed.

Backhand: It's getting better, but I must remember to hit with the correct stroke and arc on lower balls, just like Gasquet in the picture.

Verträumt, träumerisch

2009-12-20T03:26:00.005-05:00

As usual so much stuff to write, but those thoughts once past don't come back to let one write them down, they just fade in and out of one's mind.

Ich bin ein Tagträumer, so kann man sagen auf Deutsch. I like to write things down, all manner of things, as I might have mentioned before, I keep a neat little notebook of all the important things. Then I write random private thoughts in my diary. And when I want to own up to no one in particular, no one I know, I write here. So I am a daydreamer. I write stuff. My thoughts.

Can I say perhaps, that my life is going well, the real life and not the life that floats around like clouds in my daydreams? I hold on to my writings and my notebooks and my little things like they are markers of my existence, in the real life and in the life of daydreams. All that stuff that I wrote down is already there, but I am afraid to lost the writings and with that the stuff and perhaps one of my lives. I flip them open often and maybe I do so obsessively, just to see the stuff and the writings, and to assure myself that they're still there. So the real life goes on well perhaps, but the life of daydreams goes on floating forever.

My life of daydreams lets me know that I am forever a wannabe. I wanna be all the stuff that I write down, but I may never get there. I wonder about Dan and the paper guys and girls I see on this flatness and I dream up full-bodied lives for them, based on what I wanna be and not so much what they really are, for I don't know that, don't know that at all. I wanna be in Buffalo, in some place, in all places except in no place. I click through link after link on Dan, his friends, dreaming up romantic lives and runaway stories. And I wonder and wonder, blurring reality and dreams. And I wanna be loving my friends too, like all that I imagine.

Today is Sunday, if I'm not at tennis, I spend it with my thoughts - in this way as a friend of mine would say I am a self-centred person. I went through some old books today and I came across a map of Malaysia. I realize whenever I see such a map, I recall the little days wending up the old highways, those days when I was but little.

I read an issue of The Economist recently, they write well and they had a obituary for Christopher Nolan, will see if I can transcribe it here sometime. Also the New York Times Magazine writers do brilliantly too.

She'll be coming round the mountain

2009-12-07T01:53:00.007-05:00

The original thought for this post happened on 12/29/08.

Two months before, I had bought a beautiful Hallstatt jigsaw of a picture. Maybe it's the mountain in Hallstatt she's coming around.

When I was in Frederick, there was a time I'd sent my Wrangler to the garage -- that was at the start of last year's winter when the jeep was locked out. So I was walking in frederick town at night to the bus, how pretty it seemed then, after my swim at the Y, the lights by the windows.

I don't know why I had thought of this: everybody's a hypocrite -- in Chinese, this would be ren ren dou shi wei jun zi.

I had this random thought too: where do magicians hide their pigeons?

Perhaps this doesn't matter anymore

2009-11-29T20:03:00.003-05:00

To all past, present and future readers:

Blogs may be for different things. For me, I write sometimes to let others know my thoughts in an anonymous sort of way. There are times when I feel the need to write my thoughts here and have somebody else read them at random, but there are other times and other thoughts that I could only keep to myself (and I write them in my own diary sometimes).

Sometimes, things change over time too. Here I want to let you know that one such post has changed today. In May 2006, I posted one story entitled "If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things", relating the true account of how a few events over the course of a few months had changed my life profoundly. I still continue to relive them, and I do think it is so much a part of me that I will continue to do so. But it is a private account, one that needed an anonymous airing -- yet it is a private one, and today I have tucked it away.

Also, I browsed through some of my posts back in the early part of 2006 -- some of them seem so absurd now!

Ich sehe die dinge so wie sie sind

2009-11-24T08:45:00.007-05:00

Some thoughts that need more writing:

Man soll nie nie sagen

Ceux qui m'aiment prendront le train

Und andere, d'autres

Dreaming

2009-11-18T04:46:00.004-05:00

Today's another day I can't swim because it's threatening thunderstorms. It's going to be three days I haven't swum. I shall have to do my "perfect" pushups at home -- which aren't quite the same as swimming. I want to swim! I'm going to work on my body, storm or not.

I've been looking at homes in Buffalo and Amherst. I want to go there someday and I tell myself I will. This will be in, say, ten years, though. And I'm daydreaming now but it seems so real. Why are the homes in North Bailey so much less than other Amherst homes? I look at other neighborhoods around the university and in parts of Buffalo such as Allentown, too.

I also want to start learning french again in addition to the german classes I'm taking right now, but I'm not sure if that is wise in terms of time. Besides the exercise, fitness, the tennis, learning languages is my joy. I've got this book with pictures and a list of my joyful interests -- it is not my intention to do everything at once but I sometimes imagine about that.

I read gay news and gay life websites everyday and I wonder what I can do. What can I do and what do I want to do?

I was planning to upload a photo and say I got the photo above from the outsports website, but it is not letting me for some reason.

Update (11/19): I figured it out. So there's the picture. And then, I wonder sometimes if I'm a little enchanted, so many people say mean things about Buffalo. But I'm in love, and love's beauty will save the world and will make Buffalo a beautiful, lovely place.

Tennis reflection II

2009-08-23T09:32:00.002-04:00

I need to hit more cleanly on my forehand and not let the grip twist around in my hand.

The serve is hard to get right on my own being as complex as it is. I'm getting the hang of the footwork for the serve now. The toss and the swing needs a lot of work.

I'm more aware of my footwork, the split step now.

Swimming reflection I

2009-08-18T10:11:00.005-04:00

Today I realized I haven't improved my swimming much, as my speed in the water is still the same, and slower than competition. I am trying not to drop my elbows, but I don't know if I am actually doing it or not.

Tennis reflection I

2009-08-16T22:52:00.000-04:00

Today I played my first real tennis after writing the last note on improving my tennis.

I think I made some improvements today.

I had the chance to only practise two aspects today, the forehand and the backhand. I only did a few volleys, but more of that later. But maybe I should also consider probably the key improvement, the footwork and the split step, too.

The backhand was much better. I leaned into the shot. The racquet head take-back was improved. The preparation of the feet was better, and I was able to bend for the low shots and not fall back too much on the deep or high shots, though this needs more improvement. As a result I was more consistent and had increased power as well.

I made a conscious effort to impart more horizontal action on the ball on my forehand. I thought I made more shots than before, but I know that the improvement was not as marked as the backhand. I think that on the low shots, I definitely need to use more horizontal action, but the trick is to do that with spin as well -- I definitely need some practise on that. On the high shots, I can definitely hit a deep shot with spin, but I must make sure not to overhit the spin and cause the racquet to twist in my hands (that happens on the low shots too if I use the wrong technique). Also if the shot comes at me fast, I must make sure to use the right swinging motion. I should make sure to go under the ball so it clears the net, but not use too much spin.

On the volleys, I strained my knee. And that's because of my poor footwork. This really highlights how important the split step is, and I made sure I used the split step after it happened. Footwork, the split step, they are indeed the foundation, and I think much of my improvement is due to that.

Also I'm thinking about language lessons, maybe after I have my books again.

My tennis partners have been my friends pretty much, but what happens when they are not around? Who can I play tennis with, I wonder.

Surfing for tennis and over-singing

2009-08-11T11:52:00.000-04:00

I think the national anthem in the USA is over-played, over-sung, over-performed. When I googled this idea and found an article on this (the writer had a different take on why he thought so), there were a bunch of typically nasty comments. But I highlight two comments (yes, two) that were on my side.

"I agree with Moore 100%. Save the national anthem for more appropriate times; like limiting it to the beginning of Championship series or the likes of an season opening game, parades, etc.

It's so over used that it's lost it's reverence. How many times do the players start walking around before the song is done. It gets lost in all the pregame hype. And Tv networks have gone to televising it at the beginning of a series and at the start of potential close out games.

If you want the National Anthem to have reverence, treat it so, not like the drinking song it's tune originated from and as it's now degraded by all the drunk and methed out fans of today.

And, yeah, I could go into how the Star Spangled Banner is used to condition all you to the hoo-ah of the war machine, but that's another story. For now I agree with most here that there's a need for a revered national anthem - so let's use it appropriately."

"I see a bunch of morons claiming the writer is anti-American and a liberal commie for not wanting the national anthem before sporting events anymore.

I love America and everything about it, but frankly I am a bit annoyed at how frequently the national anthem is played. Don't get me wrong, I understand what it means and where it comes from, but do we really need to play the anthem before a whiffle ball game?

Plus, only 67% of the population knows the lyrics.

If you people think the writer is an anti-American liberal commie for writing his comments, wow just get out of my country, there's enough retards in it already."

Trying to improve my tennis

2009-08-10T22:52:00.000-04:00

I am discovering all the errors in my tennis technique and starting to fix them bit by bit.

To get the correct leg action on my serve, I need to put my weight on my right leg and take off on it during the upswing.

For my volleys, I need to adopt the proper preparation stance and make cross-steps to get to the ball. I need to grip my racket tight and keep my wrist steady as I make the volley

My forehand needs a stronger horizontal motion so that I can get good depth on my shots while imparting good spin on the ball. I need to make sure my grip is steady. Sometimes the handle turns in my hand. That is because I mistakenly grip it a little too extremely on switching back to a forehand grip in the middle of the rally.

I need to make sure I hit my backhands through the shot everytime, like I do when I am properly set up so that I don't end up getting jammed on the shot. Sometimes I also get jammed due to a lack of confidence on the shot. If I get my feet ready and adopt the right stance, posture and body weight balance, I can hit through the shot well.

I just read a little and saw a short clip on the split-step. Basically the split-step is a hop and putting the two feet close together and then quickly widening the stance again. This is good footwork preparation for the shot.

I think it's that way, but I can't remember

2009-07-13T05:05:00.003-04:00

Originally drafted 1/25/09.

Do you sometimes?

2009-07-11T11:02:00.003-04:00

When you're out with really old friends (and perhaps particularly of the singapore variety), do you sometimes get carried away? Maybe because you were once really close, but now there's some awkwardness and you haven't seen them in a long time, and you try to be funny too hard and say silly things? Or try too hard to get your point across?

Do you sometimes say things and then forget what said during conversations?

Le bizarre du monde

2009-07-10T22:13:00.003-04:00

Interesting article in the Advocate today about a notorious homophobe from Singapore being invited to NYU of all places. I understand where some of the comments come from and express dismay at and would protest NYU's decision. This aside, I couldn't help but entertain the thought that not a few commenters do not realize that such close-minded people exist in all countries and blanket labels are misleading.

Le Chinois

2009-07-06T03:32:00.004-04:00

"Transactional" can be a word to describe the Singaporean mentality.

Not totally related: Since coming back to Singapore a month ago, I feel I have adjusted my outward behavior somewhat in tune with the people here. The pre-occupation of conversation with financial rat races, the rather conservative, non-confrontational social mindset.

I think to some extent one can modify his external persona without really changing his inner personality. To some extent, though at some point the persona begins to overtake the personality.

Neighbors

2009-06-27T06:58:00.005-04:00

I live in a small walk-up condominium block in a leafy Singapore neighborhood popular with expatriates. This morning when I was downstairs on my way to the local store to buy the morning newspapers, I spotted a neighbor of mine I haven't seen before without his shirt. He had tanned skin, blond hair and hunky muscles. He was a little far away when I spotted him and was gone in a flash. Saturday party. So that's one of my neighbors.

Searching for a pool in Singapore

2009-06-25T11:04:00.002-04:00

I just moved back from the states to the equatorial island of Singapore due to the unfortunate loss of my job owing to the recession. My home is in the southwest-central part of the island (to be quite exact). I love the many beautiful big trees here. I don't think I can call anywhere else in Singapore home.

I've been swimming for the past couple of weeks or so at the public pool near my home. I'm not used to the number of people, the lack of lane lines, the stifling temperature and salinity of the water, and I didn't think I'd say this, but I miss the pools in Frederick. Today some lanes were blocked off halfway during my swim and I decided to get out rather than squeeze. I drove myself to the another pool somewhat farther away just to take a look but that didn't seem any better on a regular day.

Also, I need to get back to swimming better. I left Frederick with my stand-in coach saying I have a nice freestyle. I need to get back to being smooth with the stroke.

I think I'll stay with the first pool nearest my home and try to get better over there.

There's this nice-looking dude with the works who swims pretty well. He got lucky today swimming beside the only lane line, and so he stayed when I left. Maybe next time I can get lucky too.

I sat with my little baby nephew at the balcony tonight and looked outside for a while together. He can't talk coherently but can say some simple words badly. We pointed out cars, vans, taxis, trees, and said hallo and bye to whoever happened to come within view.

I'm still searching for a job. I was filling in an application form but had to put it aside halfway. I should continue that tomorrow and work a little harder maybe. Tonight I caught a little of Wimby tennis on a very choppy connection. I don't have sports cable TV here and don't think I'll get it soon, so this works for now.

My tennis article

2009-06-20T01:13:00.005-04:00

I'm a recreational tennis player with a healthy amount of interest in tennis technique. Last night I picked up a racquet on a court again after a long time. I've also thought about writing a personal article on some techniques that need particular attention so that I may reach a consistent level of tennis.

It starts with the footwork. Take small, quick, smooth steps, get into the correct stance, posture and position, and bend the knees to reach low balls. Be sure to use the correct grip and achieve consistency by holding the neck of the racquet with the left arm and using it to help with grip changes. In the execution of the forehand and backhand, remember to get under the ball and follow through above the shoulders in a smooth, natural stroke. Release the racquet neck with the right timing when hitting the backhand to hit a smooth stroke. Toss the ball consistently by reaching to the sky with the tossing arm and hit the serve with some spin. Volley the ball by holding the wrist steady, keeping the eyes open and taking a shuffle or side step.

Going home

2009-06-02T13:52:00.003-04:00

Haven't written for some time. I'm going home tomorrow. My visa to the US is expiring and I am saying goodbye for now. Goodbye to the swimming pools in Frederick and my friends here. I will see you in Singapore. Will write again.

Beauty will save the world

2008-11-03T23:54:00.004-05:00

Central Park New York

2008-09-01T11:16:00.000-04:00

if you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same

2008-07-06T21:03:00.003-04:00

2008 Wimbledon men's final, what a magical night.

tender breeze evening caress

2008-06-30T21:28:00.004-04:00

Allez Gasquet.

This is my land

2008-05-30T21:42:00.003-04:00

son revers

2008-04-24T22:52:00.001-04:00

I like Gasquet's tennis very much, and I absolutely love his backhand. Hope he does better.

Like a Dolphin Loves the Ocean

2008-03-23T22:26:00.001-04:00

Soldier's Girl

2008-02-03T22:23:00.001-05:00

Pfc. Barry Winchell...Calpernia

Another site...sldn

Supa Bola!

2008-02-03T22:21:00.000-05:00

What drama & Excitement!

Farewell, Heath

2008-01-22T22:41:00.000-05:00

St Croix Diary Part II

2007-12-15T13:02:00.000-05:00

Today I head back home from St Croix. I am once again at the Deep End. This morning's swim was good. I think I'm really getting better at swimming.

I wish to log this entry because I am seeing a hot dude in front of me here déjà. I had that same feeling of revisitation when I spotted him. A month ago, I saw him walking in Christiansted with a backpack on his shoulders. Then as I was brunching at the Deep End, this very Deep End, the next day, he came by with a friend for a quick drink. He was and still is handsome. I wish I had a picture of someone like him in my files to show. There he is at the bar tending it. Bartending is probably one of the jobs that I've long dreamt about trying, more so especially now, though I don't think I ever would, you know. I'd be too distracted by men :-).

St Croix can be really pretty sometimes. I know this may sound like sacrilege to people who love the island, but oh well. This morning was one such pretty morning. The sun was bright, the breeze was cool, and there were a few lovely white fluffy clouds floating in the blue sky. The hills were especially green. I drove down to Christiansted and took a short walk around the fort.

P.S. I think most men who are good-looking know they're good-looking. Stuff they say about guys not knowing how good-looking they are just seems unbelievable to me.

St Croix Diary

2007-12-09T18:30:00.000-05:00

My job requires or allows me, depending on your point of view, to travel down here to St. Croix every now and then, about one or two weeks a month currently. I am down on this island again tonight. St. Croix is an enigma for me. I am excited the first few days and nights I am here. It never fails to be a welcome change from the humdrum of long, tiring workdays in Maryland. But by the end of the week, I want to go home. Island paradise it may or may not be.

I am sitting at the Deep End Bar writing this while gulping down a crab and cabbage spring roll. The waitress who meant to serve me initially saw me swimming in the big, bright pool before dinner. I was doing flip turns and swimming as hard and fast as I could. She asked me if that was what I did when I'm down here and said she and her friend were in the swim team and were watching me. I said yeah, that's what I do when I'm down here -- it gives me a workout.

What I didn't tell her, the water was cold tonight. What I didn't tell her was that I swim all the time. I swim every day, almost. Sometimes I'm tired from work or kept from swimming by work, and don't swim as hard. And it's about the only sport I do now. No friends exist in Maryland to hit tennis balls with. Swimming alone keeps me company.

What I didn't ask her was, was I good? Where did you swim? I never did ask her. Instead I must have appeared reserved and reluctant to make conversation. In fact, I definitely did. Was it because I was uncomfortable with speaking loudly in a very public place so everyone would hear what I say? Or was it because I was afraid to admit that I was working here, that I'm always here alone? Maybe it was the fact that I'm afraid to admit my conflicted emotions about... about what, about many things in my life that I've had too much opportunity to think about, being alone most of the time now. No, I've become rather afraid of talking with strangers now, afraid to let them know I'm a pathetic foreign misfit in a land that I almost cease to exist but for my own little world.

The wind is blowing strong now. This bar is right beside the ocean and tonight, at this time of year, the wind is gusting up strong from the northeast. It seems to want to sweep away all my thoughts. But all my thoughts remain bottled up in my head and pouring onto this diary. All around me, soft romantic little golden bulbs light up the wonderful, wispful, festive, northern music playing soothingly on the deck. I see groups of people, friends saying goodbye, the waitress talking with all her friends who seem to be here at the restaurant tonight.

Strange this is not the first time all this seems to be happening to me.

Whenever I think like this, I feel like jumping into the pool again to swim away all my thoughts. Not only those thoughts, but everything. I'm working hard and soon they will change!

Before all this happened though, I was out looking for groceries. Why do I say "looking"? Because I didn't find any? The vegetables looked limp and the meat clunky. I am inspired to become a good cook by Jamie Oliver. Did you see his new book, "Cook with Jamie"? I remember when I was about 17, I took a 700-question "What is your career?" test, and the one and only result that came out from it was "chef"!
Did you know it belongs in one of the many dreams I'm dreaming?

But of course, I didn't find anything resembling Jamie on this island. Though another curious thing, perhaps of note, happened while I was at Pueblo. A cute 20-something white guy suddenly appeared in front of me (and then was gone in a flash). He was rather tall and had a short buzz cut. He looked extremely familiar but as soon as I saw him, an odd feeling came over me, as acute as his appearance was sudden. Where had I seen him? Was it back in Maryland? Was it in a picture, one of the many cute guys I see in pictures all over the web? Was it a ghost from the past coming back to haunt me? Then I realized he worked at the refinery, one of the cute ones. He had a funny naughty sly look about him, as some cute ones can be. As is the guy sitting across at the other table right now. Older, but cute, and naughty-looking.

It's not just naughty-looking, but like the type you would loathe. And they're here for the refinery, like me, but they must like it better? How could they? To me, it's great only in comparison with what goes on back at the office.

Last thought for the night: I really want to finish up the "goals" list a few notches down.

P.S. Nights are silent in the northern winter, but nights are alive with the cries of insects in the tropics.

(December 14, evening: At the Deep End, the guitarist is playing and singing, and I hear the waves crashing and feel the ocean breeze.)

Love

2007-11-30T21:45:00.000-05:00

An autumn night on East College

2007-10-01T23:57:00.000-04:00

Wide-eyed wondering

2007-09-22T20:43:00.000-04:00

Some time ago, I wrote these goals down. What has become of them? Over the next few days, I shall write about them, and also write down my new goals.

From March 16, 2007:

Short-term goals

- Read at least one book at least four nights each week (at least half an hour each night - starting tomorrow)
I have been reading many books. I love books.
- Keep up on current affairs by reading and watching the news, programs/shows on TV (starting next week - at least one hour each week)
- Watch interesting movies on my Netflix once a week (starting next week)
- Devote four hours each week studying languages (starting next week)
- Start more constructive swim training, with Matt's help (if he is willing) (within this month)
- Discover the arts with John (within the next two months)
- Find out about harmonicas (for the next two months)
- Read "Successful Dog Adoption" and visit animal shelters (three to six months)
- Find out more about organizations to join to make new friends (two to six months)
- Travel to Europe in May (two months out)

Medium-term goals

- Try out one organization by the middle of summer (July 15 - in four months)
- If successful, stick with it. If not, try out another by end of summer (September 15 - in six months). Keep trying at least one every two months if not successful.
- Bonus goal (give myself a pat on the back if I can make this): Try to see if I can join a second organization. (by year's end)
- Visit my friends in Purdue (by end of summer)
- Perform more than adequately at work (everyday)
- Take stock of life by end of summer and think about medium-term goals again

Long-term goals

- Go home and see my parents and old friends! (By summer of 2008)
- Think about career paths, what other careers that are interesting and meaningful to me that I really have a passion for, especially that I don't consider making money a big goal, so more time off to travel to places, back home, visit friends would be ideal. (two years)
- Maintain friendship with Dan, if destiny permits (two years)

Other lesser goals

- Put a real picture up on my myspace, facebook, and blogger, and link them. (By the third month of my joining an aquatics club!)

Icelandia

2007-09-22T15:22:00.000-04:00

By Peggy Mihelich
CNN

REYKJAVIK, Iceland (CNN) -- Iceland may be best known for world-famous musical export Bjork but there's a new star quickly gaining this island nation worldwide acclaim -- clean energy.

For more than 50 years Iceland has been decreasing its dependence on fossil fuels by tapping the natural power all around this rainy, windswept rock of fire.

Waterfalls, volcanoes, geysers and hot springs provide Icelanders with abundant electricity and hot water.

Virtually all of the country's electricity and heating comes from domestic renewable energy sources -- hydroelectric power and geothermal springs.

It's pollution-free and cheap.

Yet these energy pioneers are still dependent on imported oil to operate their vehicles and thriving fishing industry.

Iceland's geographic isolation in the North Atlantic makes it expensive to ship in gasoline -- it costs almost $8 a gallon (around $2 a liter).

Iceland ranks 53rd in the world in greenhouse gas emissions per capita, according to the Carbon Dioxide Information Analysis Center -- the primary climate-change data and information analysis center of the U.S. Department of Energy.

Retired University of Iceland Professor Bragi Arnason has come up with a solution: Use hydrogen to power transportation. Hydrogen is produced with water and electricity, and Iceland has lots of both.

"Iceland is the ideal country to create the world's first hydrogen economy," Arnason explains. His big idea has earned him the nickname "Professor Hydrogen."

Arnason has caught the attention of General Motors, Toyota and DaimlerChrysler, who are using the island-nation as a test market for their hydrogen fuel cell prototypes.

One car getting put through its paces is the Mercedes Benz A-class F-cell -- an electric car powered by a DaimlerChrysler fuel cell. Fuel cells generate electricity by converting hydrogen and oxygen into water. And fuel cell technology is clean -- the only by-product is water.

"It's just like a normal car," says Asdis Kritinsdottir, project manager for Reykjavik Energy. Except the only pollution coming out of the exhaust pipe is water vapor. It can go about 100 miles on a full tank. When it runs out of fuel the electric battery kicks in, giving the driver another 18 miles -- hopefully enough time to get to a refueling station. Filling the tank is similar to today's cars -- attach a hose to the car's fueling port, hit "start" on the pump and stand back. The process takes about five to six minutes.

In 2003, Reykjavik opened a hydrogen fueling station to test three hydrogen fuel cell buses. The station was integrated into an existing gasoline and diesel station. The hydrogen gas is produced by electrolysis -- sending a current through water to split it into hydrogen and oxygen. The public buses could run all day before needing refueling.

The bus project lasted three years and cost around $10 million.

The city will need five refueling stations in addition to the one the city already has to support its busy ring road, according to Arnason. The entire nation could get by on 15 refueling stations -- a minimum requirement.

Within the year, 30-40 hydrogen fuel-cell cars will hit Reykjavik streets. Local energy company employees will do most of the test-driving but three cars will be made available to The Hertz Corp., giving Icelanders a chance to get behind the wheel.

"I need a car," says Petra Svenisdottir, an intern at Reykjavik Energy. Svenisdottir, 28, commutes to work from her home in Hafnarfjorour to Reykjavik. The journey takes her about 15 minutes if she can beat traffic. "If I didn't have a car I would have to take two or three buses and wait at each bus stop to arrive at work more than an hour later, cold and wet!"

Most Icelanders drive cars, says Arnason. Around 300,000 people live in a place about the size of the U.S. state of Kentucky. Transportation is limited to cars, buses and boats. "Everyone has a car here," Arnason says. And it's very typical for an Icelandic family to own two cars. Arnason drives a small SUV.

Fuel cell cars are expected to go on sale to the public in 2010. Carmakers have promised Arnason they will keep costs down and the government has said it will offer citizens tax breaks.

He figures it will take an additional 4 percent of power to produce the hydrogen Iceland would need to meet its transportation requirements.

Once Iceland's vehicles are converted over to hydrogen, the fishing fleet will follow. It won't be easy because of current technological limits and the high cost of storing large amounts of hydrogen, but Arnason feels confident it can happen. He predicts Iceland will be fossil fuel free by 2050.

"We are a very small country but we have all the same infrastructure of big nations," he said. "We will be the prototype for the rest of the world."

garçon

2007-09-16T19:58:00.000-04:00

tranquille

2007-09-16T19:51:00.000-04:00

Hirosaki

Beziers

do you want to see

2007-09-16T19:26:00.000-04:00

Big Brother is watching us all

By Humphrey Hawksley
BBC News, Washington

The US and UK governments are developing increasingly sophisticated gadgets to keep individuals under their surveillance. When it comes to technology, the US is determined to stay ahead of the game.

"Five nine, five ten," said the research student, pushing down a laptop button to seal the measurement. "That's your height."

"Spot on," I said.

"OK, we're freezing you now," interjected another student, studying his computer screen. "So we have height and tracking and your gait DNA".

"Gait DNA?" I interrupted, raising my head, so inadvertently my full face was caught on a video camera.

"Have we got that?" asked their teacher Professor Rama Challapa. "We rely on just 30 frames - about one second - to get a picture we can work with," he explained.

Tracking individuals

I was at Maryland University just outside Washington DC, where Professor Challapa and his team are inventing the next generation of citizen surveillance.

They had pushed back furniture in the conference room for me to walk back and forth and set up cameras to feed my individual data back to their laptops.

Gait DNA, for example, is creating an individual code for the way I walk. Their goal is to invent a system whereby a facial image can be matched to your gait, your height, your weight and other elements, so a computer will be able to identify instantly who you are.

"As you walk through a crowd, we'll be able to track you," said Professor Challapa. "These are all things that don't need the cooperation of the individual."
Since 9/11, some of the best scientific minds in the defence industry have switched their concentration from tracking nuclear missiles to tracking individuals such as suicide bombers.

Surveillance society

My next stop was a Pentagon agency whose headquarters is a drab suburban building in Virginia. The Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (Darpa) had one specific mission - to ensure that when it comes to technology America is always ahead of the game.

Its track record is impressive. Back in the 70s, while we were working with typewriters and carbon paper, Darpa was developing the internet. In the 90s, while we pored over maps, Darpa invented satellite navigation that many of us now have in our cars.

"We ask the top people what keeps them awake at night," said its enthusiastic and forthright director Dr Tony Tether, "what problems they see long after they have left their posts."

"And what are they?" I asked.

He paused, hand on chin. "I'd prefer not to say. It's classified."

"All right then, can you say what you're actually working on now."

"Oh, language," he answered enthusiastically, clasping his fingers together. "Unless we're going to train every American citizen and soldier in 16 different languages we have to develop a technology that allows them to understand - whatever country they are in - what's going on around them.

"I hope in the future we'll be able to have conversations, if say you're speaking in French and I'm speaking in English, and it will be natural."

"And the computer will do the translation?"

"Yep. All by computer," he said.

"And this idea about a total surveillance society," I asked. "Is that science fiction?"

"No, that's not science fiction. We're developing an unmanned airplane - a UAV - which may be able to stay up five years with cameras on it, constantly being cued to look here and there. This is done today to a limited amount in Baghdad. But it's the way to go."

Smarter technology

Interestingly, we, the public, don't seem to mind. Opinion polls, both in the US and Britain, say that about 75% of us want more, not less, surveillance. Some American cities like New York and Chicago are thinking of taking a lead from Britain where our movements are monitored round the clock by four million CCTV cameras.

So far there is no gadget that can actually see inside our houses, but even that's about to change.

Ian Kitajima flew to Washington from his laboratories in Hawaii to show me sense-through-the-wall technology.

"Each individual has a characteristic profile," explained Ian, holding a green rectangular box that looked like a TV remote control.

Using radio waves, you point it a wall and it tells you if anyone is on the other side. His company, Oceanit, is due to test it with the Hawaiian National Guard in Iraq next year, and it turns out that the human body gives off such sensitive radio signals, that it can even pick up breathing and heart rates.

"First, you can tell whether someone is dead or alive on the battlefield," said Ian.

"But it will also show whether someone inside a house is looking to harm you, because if they are, their heart rate will be raised. And 10 years from now, the technology will be much smarter. We'll scan a person with one of these things and tell what they're actually thinking."

He glanced at me quizzically, noticing my apprehension.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "It sounds very Star Trekkish, but that's what's ahead."

From Our Own Correspondent was broadcast on Saturday, 15 September, 2007 at 1130 BST on BBC Radio 4. Please check the programme schedules for World Service transmission times.

les dieux du stade

2007-09-15T21:24:00.000-04:00

These days, I swim, read and learn. I don't feel lonely anymore. I earn money and I save money. Then I plan to go after my dreams.

Then there are beautiful men dancing in my mind.

My first real job

2007-09-15T21:08:00.001-04:00

My first real job has given me a chance to live in America. This is a land where I'm free to lead my gayest life.
I'm learning a lot of things at this job. But I now know I have my dreams and they are elsewhere. When the time is right, I will leave it. I will go back to school and study what I really like!

Civilisations

2007-08-29T23:36:00.000-04:00

I like playing the game "Civilizations III". It's the one and only electronic game I play. I imagine creating a beautiful country in the north, with glorious mountains, spectacular coastlines, and magnificent rivers and lakes. Great cities steeped in culture, built on awesome lands and linked by a remarkable network of roads abound. Tracing the civilisation through the passage of time, through the course of history, I gradually build my nations, nations of proud and happy folk.

After building nations for a while, I have stopped. I created two beautiful lands, proudly displayed below for all to see. Oh, the majestic, towering mountain ranges and the wild, wonderful coasts.

Jason

2007-08-25T22:35:00.000-04:00

Ridgeline films is here. Nice to see!

By the Light

2007-08-25T12:30:00.000-04:00

This morning a man walked up to me with a bucket that read, "Help feed women and children, Prov xx:xx" while I was at a stoplight. He asked if I wanted to "help spread the word of God".

I didn't really have a good answer for him then. But after thinking for a bit, I think I know what to say the next time! I'll say, with a smile, "Does the word of God include social equality for gay people?"

I wanted to help.

East End Bay, St Croix

2007-08-04T20:56:00.000-04:00

I went skinny dipping today at a deserted bay at the east end of St Croix. Nobody was there! The sandy strip on the south shore of the island nearest to the pointed end, that's where I was. Tomorrow I may go to Jack or Isaac Bay, equally deserted beaches.

This trip to St Croix has been good. On the sidebar of this page, at the top, you can see some words I wrote today. I thought of them this morning.

I read my "Big Book of Jobs" on the pier deck this evening. I'm happy, I found my dreams again -- they were there, they were there.

Davis Bay

2007-07-31T20:48:00.004-04:00

Davis Bay, St. Croix, July 29, 2007.

Europe, Tennis and Other Things

2007-06-23T21:07:00.000-04:00

Had the most enriching journey of my life. Promise to tell you more about it.

Going for tennis lessons finally, soon. Has been the most exciting tennis period, Roland Garros, playing after a long hiatus, lessons in the near future, Wimby.

CNN's doing a special on Gay America. Read some comments and articles on their website. Will post my thoughts.

Jason Ridge and others (Kirk Ziegler, et al.)

2007-05-15T22:12:00.000-04:00

My first post about porn (there has to be a first)! How it started: was checking Roids and Rants out several days ago, from a link on Tom in Paris (i.e., the coolest gay site of all). Roids and Rants is wicked. From there I checked out unzipped.net, titanmen.com, hothouse.com, josmanart.com, etc., and decided that Jason is the hottest cumshot boy outside of the pool, so here's a snapshot of him before I head for Cesky Krumlov and Roland Garros.

Keep a good thought

2007-05-13T10:59:00.000-04:00

Keep a good thought.

Like a dream

2007-05-13T09:25:00.000-04:00

Like a dream.

My mom said good things.

I'll let it go.

It's been a year since my posts from May 2006.

This blog's different than it was back then.

This is like a dream.

I don't write much here nowadays. I post a lot, but I write little. Don't tell anyone much, but told my mom and wrote my friend yesterday. This is like a dream. When will I wake up? It's true, really it is, I heard what was said, all those good things were said and I believed in good things. I believed in good things, and I really did. I wrote an email about good things, but maybe it wasn't right.

So I'll stop myself from writing good emails or making good phone calls. I'll send a postcard from Paris! I'll send a card at Christmas: "How are you? Haven't heard from you for some time. I'm doing fine here. Hope you are well."

Hope you are well. Maybe I'll let it go. Maybe I'll let it fly. Maybe it'll fly and soar. When do you think it'll fly high into the sky? See, I'll let it go, maybe we'll fly.

On this day, the thirteenth of May in the year two-thousand-and-seven, this is like a dream.

Here, take my hand.

My Life

2007-05-12T21:42:00.000-04:00

My phoning danny didn't go well today.

Wished my mom a happy mothers' day, told her some of what happened.

Emailed a friend of mine. Wrote down all my thoughts! Was kinda crazy.

Cried.

Gratitude is not a substitute for passion

2007-05-11T22:45:00.000-04:00

The coolest blog, Tom in Paris.

Funny is not a substitute for interesting.

I like this one

2007-05-11T22:16:00.000-04:00

Very funny post: from Shades of Gray

"Good morning," he says.

"What time is it?"

"Almost 11:00"

"Shit. I have plans to meet someone for brunch at noon," I lie. That line flies out of my mouth almost too quickly. It's convincing. I remind myself to call my therapist the moment I make more money.

"Sorry, I gotta run."

"Do I get your number?"

"Sure," I say as I fish my clothes up from his floor. "Got a pen?"

He pulls out a color Blackberry, new, shiny, bells, whistles. It's the Cadillac of hand-held devices.

"They give that to all soldiers?" I joke. "I'm in the wrong business."

"I'm a doctor. Do you have to go so soon?"

"Yes," I say. "Before I find out you're Jewish and single."

So much to see so much to do

2007-05-10T23:36:00.000-04:00

Just left a comment, you know sometimes some things and some people just inspire you, without their knowing or doing anything much really, to explore some of the dreams one put away, like Lucas and being a chef, Dan and languages, now gasquet, blogging and writing. But there's much to do, I got interests and many things I could be good in, that I haven't told you about. I'm really thinking some hardcore shit with my life now.

Going to, going to

2007-05-10T22:46:00.000-04:00

Calling Danny in two days. Invented a horrifying scenario in the shower just now, of Danny and me. Cried.

So silly! I try, and I'm much better these days. Being brave, doing my best, discovering life and learning.

Traveling soon! To Roland Garros, to all the places.

Haitian survivors accuse Turks and Caicos officials of leaving them for dead

2007-05-10T22:43:00.001-04:00

CAP-HAITIEN, Haiti: Survivors of a capsizing that killed at least 61 Haitian migrants said a Turks and Caicos patrol boat rammed them, towed them into deeper water and abandoned their overturned vessel.

"Our boat flipped over and they just left us out there," said Dona Daniel, 23, one of a half-dozen survivors interviewed by The Associated Press on Thursday after they were repatriated to Haiti from the nearby British territory.

The survivors said some migrants tried desperately to pull themselves aboard the patrol boat but were beaten back with wooden batons.

Others were run over by the patrol boat after they were flung into the shark-filled waters as their boat capsized, said Lovderson Nacon, 19.

Many of the migrants did not know how to swim and were screaming "God help me!" in the darkness, Nacon said.

The Haitians said their sailboat, loaded with an estimated 160 people, was minutes away from the shore of Providenciales, one of the Turks and Caicos Islands, on May 4 when the patrol boat rammed them before dawn.

"When they hit us the first time, water rushed into the boat and everybody screamed," Daniel said. The patrol boat crew ordered the migrants to lower their sails, threw them a line and began towing them into deeper water. The boat then capsized, he said.

"We thought they were bringing us to shore but they took us further out to sea," said Daniel, whose two brothers drowned.

Minutes after towing began, the migrants' boat jerked violently and tipped over, flinging everyone into the water, several survivors said.

"They were towing us but they pulled too hard and the boat flipped over," said another migrant, Marcelin Charles, 37. "We fell into the water and many people drowned. I was swimming past dead bodies left and right."

The Turks and Caicos government has said it will not comment until two investigations are completed. Britain's Foreign Office also declined to comment on the capsizing in its island territory. One probe is being conducted by the local government, and three government experts from Britain are carrying out an independent investigation.

The Turks and Caicos government has criticized Haiti for not doing enough to stem illegal migration. Some 400 Haitians arrive monthly in the British territory of 20,000, many having been duped by migrant smugglers into thinking they were being taken to the United States, officials say.

After being flown back to Cap-Haitien, Haiti's second-largest city, the migrants, wearing maroon T-shirts and athletic pants, were driven on a school bus to a gymnasium where about 100 relatives, many weeping, greeted them.

The relatives called out their loved ones' names, not sure if they had survived the worst disaster to hit Haitian migrants in years. More than a dozen are still missing and presumed dead.

Nacon said he was in the water for more than 15 minutes before a smaller Turks and Caicos patrol boat came out to pull survivors from the water. Other migrants said they were in the water for more than 40 minutes as they waited for the rescue boat to make a return trip.

"They heard us screaming so much, they finally came and helped us," Nacon said. "The people who knew how to swim lived. The people who didn't drowned."

At United Nations headquarters in New York, spokeswoman Michele Montas earlier Thursday described the capsizing as "a tragedy" and said "it could have been avoided." However Montas, a Haitian, said the U.N. had no further comment and that the issue was between the Turks and Caicos Islands and Haiti.

Jeanne Bernard Pierre, director-general of Haiti's National Migration Office, said Tuesday that the Haitian government would consider the ramming of a migrant boat to be a "criminal" act.

Iraq, Tony Blair

2007-05-10T22:13:00.000-04:00

New take on the Iraq war: Read Wikipedia articles, beginning with this.

Three experts on Tony Blair

"Measured against the peace-time record of British prime ministers since the end of the First World War, few of whom achieved much, Mr Blair's premiership compares favourably."

"Before 11 September 2001, Tony Blair was set to go down in history as a second-division prime minister, one of those who stayed in power for a long time but without having any appreciable effect on the story of his times."

"The verdict of history on all Prime Ministers as they leave office is hotly disputed, but few in modern British history have been subject to so much departing hostility as Tony Blair."

Rambutans and food

2007-05-10T22:03:00.000-04:00

Your hairy red balls, courtesy bally.

Carrot cake

Gasquetaire

2007-05-10T21:54:00.000-04:00

Found a cool blog on Richard.

Gasquetaire's tennis universe.

The Swimmer Salute

2007-05-10T21:51:00.000-04:00

The cute, blond lifeguard at the pool likes Matt! Looks at Matt, talks to him. I think it's part of the swimmer salute. By the way, Matt is one hell of a crazy guy. Signed up for five triathlons.

I know what to do!

2007-05-10T21:47:00.000-04:00

I know what to do!

Deciding against it for now

2007-05-10T21:40:00.000-04:00

So I thought a little bit about starting a new blog, and I think I'm going to keep it all together in one place. After all, that's me.

I also decided that I don't like my job after all. I hesitate to say this because it's good to me. I've decided that it is the case that I don't like it. I'm staying because it's not time to leave yet. Also, this is the way I can stay here in this country. I want to stay here because I love Dan. Silly, isn't it? I don't even know if it's good for me to stay here.

I smile because I don't know what's going on

2007-05-10T21:36:00.000-04:00

Recently I bought a funny shirt that read "I smile because I don't know what's going on." I thought it was wickedly hilarious when I saw it. It makes me chuckle when I think about it. But it's so true for me.

Sometimes I get lost in group conversations, I end up listening and not talking. Sometimes I don't know what's going on. Maybe I just don't understand what people say here in this country. Is it the culture that's different, the minds, the thought processes, the kinds of things that the people I happen to be around with talk about? Went out for lunch with my colleagues, bunch of engineers. I don't recall most of the conversation, but it went from money-making to New Orleans, frat parties, cats, kids, engineering, technology, American sports, American pastimes, American games, etc. and I found myself withdrawing further and further from the conversation. It happens a lot, I don't connect with the conversation, I just listen, there's nothing it seems for me to say. I probably don't fit in here, in this place. I think I know the reason for all this, what's wrong, what can be done.

I like writing these things out on my blog. It helps me understand what's going on.

I'm also thinking about starting a new blog to put thoughts like these down, so that the mawkish stuff will not be found here.

Beautiful Spring

2007-05-07T21:53:00.000-04:00

Got out of the pool early today. The bubble's been taken down, so Hood has an outdoor pool now. I like some of the lifeguards there because they're good-looking and friendly. One of them's a nice guy whose name I probably wouldn't ever know who says HEY and today under the perfect evening sky he waved at me with both his arms as he was working around the pool and we exchanged some cheerful words. On the way back, I swung my Jeep by the tennis courts and watched some guys play for a minute or two and I felt so terribly tempted to play too.

Frederick's a nice town, very nice weather too, so far. Winters can get cold for some days but not too bad really. Warm weather comes pretty early, but early Spring is really erratic. April and May are perfect. I suppose July and August are really muggy, as they say, but I don't mind that if it's only two months in a year. Of course autumn I imagine can only be better than Spring! Of course, winters could be like San Francisco's - I like the rain, and summers could be like Hawaii's.

It's kind of small here though, so for someone like me coming from elsewhere and not knowing anyone, it's tough. So I've plans for the future. I want to move up to live close to Danny. Go back to school. I feel like after this job, which treats my well, I'll bid a fond farewell to the wonderful world of engineering and all its marvels. I think I want to learn more things, different things. I hope when the time comes, Danny will be there and he wouldn't mind that I'm getting too close to him. I don't know, I haven't talked to him in a while, I have no clue as to his thoughts, his plans, if he likes me still, if he's ready to forget that I'm here. I like to remain naive and hopeful a lot, and I still have Vancouver, Canada or Seattle, Washington waiting for me, and home... yes, home! That's where the heart is.

I have a little more than half an hour to watch television every night, when I have my dinner. So I often narrow down what I want to watch to two or three different programs, and sometimes in that thirty minute span, I switch between three channels. Today I was switching between the History Channel, where they were exploring underground ancient Rome, Public Television, where they had an exciting program about Zheng He, and Worldview, where they were showing guys with huge biceps playing fast-paced football Aussie Rules.

It's Mother's Day. Watching the program on the sailor from the land of the dragon, I remember visiting this heavenly paradise palace garden with my mom some years ago. Here's a thought: European palaces beat Chinese ones hands down when it comes to comfort and plushness, but Chinese palaces trump European ones in the beauty of their gardens.

Gasquet and Racquet

2007-05-06T22:00:00.000-04:00

Since I found this guy's blog about tennis, I've been reading it often. Today he has a post on the match between Richard and Novak, and also the game between the Rangers and the Sabres. I wanted to leave a comment, but if he clicks on my link, comes here and sees a blog as gay as mine, there's a chance the outcome may not be pleasant. Let me explain what I mean.

A while back, I put up a link on the sidebar to some guy's blog in England about his skateboarding life. I only linked it because I found his posts interesting. Sometime later, he emailed me to ask if I could remove the link because he wasn't into guys. I understood his reasons and removed the link. Now I'm linking my blog to Gasquet and Racquet because I'm into tennis, and I connect with the blog. By rights, commenting about tennis wouldn't be a problem, right? (Sorry I used "right" twice.) I think it probably wouldn't be. But imagine that he comes here and sees all the good-looking men, and goes, "So this guy's a cocksucker." It wouldn't be just about tennis anymore, would it? I mean, most likely it wouldn't turn out to be as extreme as I described it, but there'd be a connection at the back of his mind that I'm gay, and that might just overshadow the tennis.

I think I'm reading and imagining too much, as usual. So it's likely sometime I won't be able to resist the urge and comment. After all, I like tennis and Richard's my favorite player. I'm also headed to Roland Garros in a few weeks. I'm sure he'll be envious. Then again, I've been reading many tennis forums and all this tennis stuff is commonplace.

Hell, I don't even know why this is a deal all of a sudden. I'll probably leave a comment sometime, maybe after Roland Garros, that's it.

It's just me to think, to analyze, to feel things. And lately, all this stuff gets published here because nowadays my life's spent rather by myself, and my mind always thinks things. That's the spiral one gets into when one is by himself. So here I am, typing all this, for no good reason.

I'll probably leave a good comment sometime, that's it.

Allez Richard, one bright sunny Spring Sunday

2007-05-06T12:33:00.000-04:00

Allez Richard!

Sunny picture at top of post -- today at noon, bright day, overlooking Ballenger Creek from my apartment.

Went out just now for a spin around the hood, perfect sunshine. Roads were marked off for a run. Merryland state sheriffs got the sexiest uniforms. Runners looked shaggy, troopers sexy candy.

Richard's playing Novak in Estoril in the championship match. Two finest young men in tennis. Novak edged Richard in a tense first set tiebreak, but Richard hit back and pummeled Novak to nothing in the second. Richard, like countless times before, deflated at the start of the final. Score right now at 1300 EDT (1800 Portugal): Novak leads Richard, 7-6 (9-7), 0-6, 3-1. Allez Richard.

Wrote down a bunch of things that I wanted to do last night, but slept in this morning. So wonder of wonders, I'm forsaking swimming today! The Hood's taking down the bubble, so the pool's closed for the day. Germantown Indoor is far away and I journeyed there yesterday. I'm deciding to do all the other things, lots of good stuff.

I'm gonna be calling Danny soon. Hope we'd be able to talk. Do you know my distant dream? I should say it's not really that far away. Thought about writing it down here just now, but once again, I stop myself because it's not fun. I know it here in my heart.

I'm trying to take things slowly. Two weeks, on May 18, I'm flying off to Europe! Meeting up with a good friend to have the time of our lives.

There's some things I wanted to say, my thoughts, but I'll leave them. I think it's getting harder to write them as the days go by. Don't know if I ever will write them down, you know. I keep thinking about them and when I do, I feel like I want to write them down so I can put them away. But when I sit down here, I find I don't really want to. So I'll leave them. Maybe they'll come out when they want to. They're probably all here anyway, somewhere on men behaving badly.

The beautiful day is beckoning me away. So I'll really leave them, now.

Btw, Richard lost the match. It's 7-6, 0-6, 6-1 to Novak. Score's similar to the last meeting they had, which Novak won 7-6, 1-6, 6-1, if I rightly recall. Richard implodes on himself. It's disappointing because his tennis captivates like a magical fire dance. I've seen Novak play, and you have to like the guy, he'll surely be number one but for R Fed and R Nad.

Going out for a short while soon, to take my Jeep for a wash, and to rub off some light. Then I got travel plans to make, emails to pen, goals to write down, reading to do... heading out to enjoy my Sunday!

Only in India

2007-05-03T22:12:00.000-04:00

Read about it.

From the BBC

2007-05-02T22:02:00.000-04:00

Climate change lessons in Indonesia
By Lucy Williamson
BBC News, Jakarta

Every morning, at first light, Java's rice fields come alive. One by one, farmers appear among the bright green plants, their wide-brimmed hats dotted across the fields.

This is the way Indonesia's rice has been farmed for generations; the basic rhythms of its paddies undisturbed by war or economic crisis.

But now, something strange is happening.

Parto is one of the first in the rice fields every morning. Carrying a can of pesticide, he swings the spray backwards and forwards over the crop.

"The harvests have become irregular," he said. "Normally we harvest two to three times a year, but it depends on the weather. We need to wait for the right conditions, but now that's become unpredictable."

Many small-scale farmers still plant and harvest their crops according to the stars, or the first few drops of rain.

But this year's heavy rains washed away many crops and caused major flooding.

Scientists cannot agree how much of this is down to climate change.

But then that debate means nothing to many of those affected - they do not even know what climate change is.

"We weren't told about climate change," one man told me, "and the only news we received from local officials is that a flood like this will happen every five years. I don't understand climate change, but I do know that a big flood will come every five years."

"Climate change is caused by global warming," said his neighbour, "and the thinning of the ozone layer. I think that caused the shift of weather patterns on earth."

A local woman joined in: "People here don't talk about climate change. I have read it somewhere in a book or in a newspaper, but I don't really know what it means."

With 17,000 islands and a biodiversity second only to Brazil, Indonesia stands to lose a great deal from rising sea levels and changing climate.

So why don't more people here understand it?

Educational opportunity

At a popular seaside resort outside the capital, Agus Purnomo, senior adviser to the Indonesian environment minister, looks out across the Java sea and the unseen changes happening in the vast waters that surround his country.

He told me the government here has some catching up to do.

"The climate change issue is more perceived as an international issue rather than a domestic issue," he explained.

"We need to start with the decision makers, the planners and also those who can approve the budgets - including the parliament - because we need to address this awareness campaign big time. And that will require substantial allocations of the national budget."

It is already clear that the effects of climate change in Indonesia could be devastating.

Many communities in Jakarta were hit by the floods earlier this year.

Even now, walking around the areas that were affected, many houses have been completely destroyed or still carry high water marks on the upper floors.

But some environmentalists, like Kuki Soejachmoen, head of the think-tank Pelangi, see disasters like this as a strange kind of opportunity - to educate people about climate change.

"Since this happened, people have started to realise that this is not only the product of the local environmental impact, but it's something that's happening over the long term," she told me.

And that is quite a change for Indonesia's poor majority.

"Most of the people here - and in other developing countries I should say - are forced to live on a day-to-day basis so [have] a very short term perspective," she said.

Floods might engage the victims of climate change, but what about those who cause it?

Indonesia straddles both ends of the global warming debate.

Forest fires have made it one of the world's worst polluters. Many fires are started by poor, remote communities, either as a way of clearing their own land for planting or on behalf of big companies.

In order to stop these blazes, communities will have to be convinced to think beyond their daily lives.

Changing Indonesia's attitudes and behaviour might start with the politicians, but they cannot do much without the co-operation of the country's vast population.

Gladiators' graveyard discovered
By Monika Kupper and Huw Jones
BBC Timewatch

Scientists believe they have for the first time identified an ancient graveyard for gladiators.
Analysis of their bones and injuries has given new insight into how they lived, fought and died.

The remains were found at Ephesus in Turkey, a major city of the Roman world, BBC Timewatch reports.

Gladiators were the sporting heroes of the ancient world. Archaeological records show them celebrated in everything from mosaics to graffiti.

Motifs of gladiators are found on nearly a third of all oil lamps from Roman archaeological digs throughout the Empire.

But how much did they risk every time they stepped into the arena? Did they have much chance of getting out alive?

The discovery of what is claimed to be the first scientifically authenticated gladiator graveyard has given researchers the opportunity to find out.

'Strict rules'

The Ephesus graves containing thousands of bones were found along with three gravestones, clearly depicting gladiators.

Two pathologists at the Medical University of Vienna - Professor Karl Grossschmidt and Professor Fabian Kanz - have spent much of the past five years painstakingly cataloguing and forensically analysing every single bone for age, injury and cause of death.

They found at least 67 individuals, nearly all aged 20 to 30. One striking bit of evidence is that many have healed wounds.

To Kanz and Grossschmidt, this suggests they were prized individuals getting good and expensive medical treatment. One body even shows signs of a surgical amputation.

And the lack of multiple wounds found on the bones, according to the pathologists, suggests that they had not been involved in chaotic mass brawls. Instead, it points to organised duels under strict rules of combat, probably with referees monitoring the bouts.

But there was also evidence of mortal wounds. Written records tell us that if the defeated gladiator had not shown enough skill or even cowardice, the cry of "iugula" (lance him through) would be heard throughout the arena, demanding he be killed.

Final blow

The condemned gladiator would be expected to die "like a man" remaining motionless to receive the mortal blow.

The pathologists discovered various unhealed wounds on bones that showed how these executions could have taken place. And these are consistent with depictions on reliefs from the time showing a kneeling man having a sword rammed through down his throat into the heart. A very quick way to die.

Tell-tale nicks in the vertebrae or other bones suggest at least some of the bodies suffered this fate.

A number of skulls were also found to have sets of up to three holes at odd intervals, consistent with a blow from a three-pronged weapon such as a trident.

"The bone injuries - those on the skulls for example - are not everyday ones, they are very, very unusual, and particularly the injuries inflicted by a trident, are a particular indication that a typical gladiator's weapon was used," says pathologist Professor Karl Grossschmidt.

But not all head injuries found were trident wounds. A number of the skulls showed rectangular holes that could not have been made by any of the known gladiator weapons. Instead, they suggest the use of a heavy hammer.

"One possible explanation, which is supported by a number of archaeologists, is that there must have been an assistant in the arena who basically gave the gladiator the coup de grace," says Professor Kanz.

"I assume that they must have been very severely injured gladiators, ones who had fought outstandingly and so had not been condemned to death by the public or by the organiser of the match, but who had no chance of surviving because of their injuries. It was basically the final blow, in order to release them."

'Comfortable' retirement

The work of the Viennese pathologists has been independently reviewed for the BBC's Timewatch programme by Dr Charlotte Roberts of Durham University, a leading physical anthropologist.

"I've looked at quite a few hundred Roman skeletons. I've seen examples of head injuries, healed and unhealed. I've seen evidence of decapitations," she says.

"But this (new find) is extremely significant; there's nothing been found in the world at all like it. They've really dispelled quite a lot of myths about gladiators and how they fought."

If a gladiator survived three years of fighting in the arena, he would win his freedom. Those who did often became teachers in the gladiator school; and one of the skeletons found at Ephesus appears to be that of a retired fighter.

He was of mature age and the scientists were able to reconstruct nearly his entire body. His head showed apparent signs of healed wounds from previous fights but, clearly, none of them would have proved fatal.

"He lived quite a normal Roman lifespan," says Professor Kanz. "And I think, most probably, he died of natural causes."

Historical records suggest a gladiator's chance of survival was slim, with some estimates as low as a one in three chance of dying each time he fought. But it appears one of the Ephesus gladiators at least survived the odds and had a chance to enjoy his retirement from the arena.

Foster's hops on green bandwagon

Australian brewer Foster's has teamed up with scientists to create the world's first "beer battery".

The technology - using bacteria which consume sugar to generate power from brewery waste water - was unveiled at the University of Queensland.

The university was awarded a state grant of 140,000 Australian dollars ($115,000; £58,000) to help fund the microbial fuel cell project.

The battery will be installed at Foster's brewery near Brisbane.

As bacteria consume water-soluble waste from the plant such as starch, alcohol and sugar, the battery will produce clean water and electricity.

"Brewery waste water is a particularly good source because it is very biodegradable... and is highly concentrated, which does help in improving the performance of the cell," said the university's waste water expert, Professor Jorg Keller.

According to estimates, the brewery battery should produce two kilowatts of power - enough to power a household.

"It's not going to make an enormous amount of power - it's primarily a waste water treatment that has the added benefit of creating electricity," Prof Keller added.

A patent is pending for the technology, which could be used across a number of food, beverage and manufacturing industries.

Something about...

2007-05-01T22:01:00.000-04:00

Spotted some kids playing basketball under the darkening sky this Spring evening at the Maryland School for the Deaf.

Found a nice tennis blog called Gasquet and Racquet, named after my favorite tennis guy.

Watched a documentary tonight on the History Channel on feats of ancient engineering. Roman siphons, Greek mirrors, ancient bathhouses. Last night, too, there was another on the Berlin underground flak tower.

I love learning! Tom-in-paris is a log-cabin Republican (teehee), dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopaedia, I love you.

Hopefully I can wake up early to swim tomorrow morning.

I miss you, Danny. I miss you!

P.S. Was reading Gasquet and Racquet just now, I like it! I think the guy plays tennis well and writes for Utica's paper. (Now that is something I'd like to do!) Found another cool site: www.myspace.com/r_gasquet.

Amsterdam in May, Roland Garros in June

2007-04-30T22:59:00.000-04:00

Plans

2007-04-29T23:04:00.001-04:00

Plans for the next few posts:

Tomorrow night: My travel plans

Tuesday night: Something about Danny and me

Amazing Race

2007-04-29T22:59:00.000-04:00

The teams have been to so many cool places. They were at Guam tonight! I'd like to go.

Caribou and Wolves: The Endless Dance

2007-04-29T22:16:00.000-04:00

Across the top of North America, millions of caribou are led on their never-ending journey by the mothers of the herd. Driven by the demands of motherhood, they travel 3000 miles on a trek from their winter range at the edge of the northern forests to calving grounds and back again.

The senior female members are the leaders of the matriarchic society that are the caribou. As winter sets in in the Northern tundra, the female caribou with their antlers, eight weeks pregnant, guide the herd to begin the annual pilgrimage. The males, without antlers at this time of year, follow the lead of the females. Throughout this journey, their constant companions the wolf packs trail them ceaselessly.

The caribou keep themselves to open ground for visibility of their predators. The wolves are not far behind. The largest females sometimes surround the wolves by running around them in circles. They prance and trot around the wolves, their gait like an ancient dance, as if to show off their strength and speed.

More Comments

2007-04-29T21:51:00.000-04:00

Sue said:

Either Jon or Steven Colbert had an expert on that wrote a book about Islamic factions (Shite & Sunni) in Iraq and compared them to earthquake faults. There is an enormous fault line running right through the middle of the country and Saddam was able to keep control of it with force, and things have fallen apart since we introduced democracy. If we leave, the 'big one' will hit and the nation will be destroyed. Did you hear that interview? I found it very enlightening. So, I don't think it will make a difference if we go or not. These people have to make it on their own.

My reply:

Unfortunately I didn't.

A friend of mine who's a Shiite Muslim told me that it's taught somewhere that the biggest enemies of their religion are not the Christians/Jews/hedonists but the Sunnis and likewise the Shiites are for the Sunnis.

But he (like most other Muslims who are peace-loving) doesn't think that means Shiites and Sunnis should kill each other like they're doing in Iraq now.

In my humble opinion, I think what's happening now is a shift in power from the Sunnis to the Shiites, which is igniting old enmities and grievances among those who lost power and those with scores to settle. Most of the common folks in Iraq would love peace.

You're right in that, unfortunately, it is the minority that is prone to resorting to violence who have the guns and the bombs, and they are causing turmoil and inciting hatred. And it does seem more than likely now that they are winning the day.

I think I might be naive but I'm still hoping for something that America can do, since we went in and messed things up, despite the original good intentions. (Arguably, the American public believed that we went to war to spread democracy and rid the country of a despot. But it is sad that the majority of soldiers and ordinary Americans believed this, even though it may very well have been just a sweet-sounding ideal, far from reality, that we were led or misled to believe.) Notwithstanding, even though the outlook in Iraq (that is portrayed to us by the media) seems more and more dire, I think to up and leave now may be premature. On the other hand, it may ultimately be, as you say, Sue, that whether we're there or not would make no difference.

However, I don't really know, and I don't think many people know either. Even experts hold different opinions, depending on their leanings, I dare say. All I can say, for sure, is that this should be a lesson learnt, don't go to war for unjustified reasons, and when it was clear (to me it was very clear in 2003, at least) that such a war would cause more extremist hatred.

Comments on my previous post

2007-04-26T22:21:00.000-04:00

Chris said...

if bush duped us then kerry, clinton, schumer, and all those democrat idiots did too since they had in their possession the exact same confidential CIA report. When clinton and kerry were asked about receiving the cia documents, they did not deny having the same docs as bush and his administration. when asked if they read it - both their answers were -- 'well i read bits and pieces of it'... so i wish people like you would get your facts straight before just blaming a man just because you hate the poor guy and it's what everyone else is doing. he made a bad mistake just like the rest of them but it's VERY hard to just up and leave. it may look like there's chaos in Iraq now but if we DO just up and leave, it'll worsen and not just for Iraq but also for America. .. and i speak from experience - i was an air force pilot & commander in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq from the very beginning. Yes, Even I disagree with Bush once in a while but please cut the guy just a little break. I can't even imagine how he sleeps at night with all the stress, the threats, and knowing how bad Iraq looks in the public's eye. If Kerry was in office, I still wouldn't wish him harm like you and the liberals wish on Bush.

My reply:

Chris, I don't know if you're ever gonna be reading this, but I never wished him harm. I never did say anything about upping and leaving either. And I never said anything about the democrats at all. If there is any chance you'd read what I wrote again, I hope you'd understand that I'm angry for the fact that a ~~senseless~~ unjustified war was fought. Please don't read this in a hurtful way. And I'm terribly, terribly angry. And who knows what happened in the depths of political offices? If there wasn't deliberate cover-up, then I'm really very disappointed at how some people ever thought a war like this one would solve anything. If there was something deliberate, then that's something that shouldn't be forgotten.

You assume that I have Democrat leanings, and I am a so-called "liberal", but I only support what I believe in, neither do I understand the word "liberal". I believe in liberty, protection of the environment, social equality and fraternity (that includes basic rights for all people and yes, gay people), love and peace. I believe that America would be a better place if there were no guns altogether. But does that make me a fucking Democrat or a "liberal"? I hope we would all stop giving each other labels. I believe in what I believe in, not in some shit political classification.

I wrote: "Fuck you, your misguided policies, your fucked-up war on terror". I'm not ashamed to say that I believe the policies are misguided and the "war on terror", in regards to what is happening after Iraq, is also being waged disastrously. I am still angry because I believe the policy of going to war in Iraq has spawned more terrorists than it destroyed. So I am profoundly angry. "You" refers to not Bush, but everyone who is responsible, the "ones who are responsible for all those lies".

I did not say we should up and leave, but that we shouldn't have gone in in the first place. I have every due respect for the people who are sacrificing themselves, and I support every good soldier. I don't envy Bush's position and, needless to say, I can't pass judgement on his personal character. I am just livid at the numbers of lives lost and the possible repercussions because of the mistakes of this administration, the original undertaking deliberately engineered or otherwise. And this anger is compounded by all the other policies I am against.

And believe it or not, I also think just packing our bags is not the right solution. But I don't know what's worse. Sure we have a responsibility to do our best to right the situation, but are we creating a whole lot more terrorists in the long run? I don't know the solution, do you hear me Chris -- which is why I am so pissed! Because this mistake is so costly. And I am so angry because it seems to me that there was selective misinterpretation of data. I understand you are sympathetic to their predicament, and perhaps rightly so, but we will never know if there was any deliberate misinterpretation. And all those lives lost...

I know it might have been hurtful my tone, and I know people like you have courageously offered your lives for the country, and I don't ever mean to diminish what has been fought for. Yes, Iraq is free of a cruel dictatorship, there is chance of better lives for the Iraqis. But I just am fucking pissed whenever I think that it's not ever so simple. How I wish that it will be a happy ending. But reality still hangs in the balance. Chaos, more bloodshed, hate. Of course it's easy to say now that we all could have seen this.

I don't like to discuss politics and all, and do you see why, Chris? Because there are perfectly sound, sensible and I dare say, good, people like you who happen to see things from another perspective, and it's tough to see through all the negativity. It's tough for me definitely but I try and I don't think I succeed. Neither do I think anyone really does. The only thing I regret about my previous post is my tone -- perhaps I have been too vindictive, and if so, I apologize. And if it had been hurtful to the guys who sacrificed themselves, I am sorry but I don't mean it in that way. Love and peace is what I stand for, but if that has to be fought for in this way, like so many other things, and I'm but a goddamn fucker, then it will suck for me. I don't suppose you would've read this far, or even revisited my blog, but if you did, I hope you see beyond my anger, and try to understand why I'm feeling this, like I tried to understand your viewpoint. Yes, I think I do somewhat understand, but I am still very angry, and I know anger is harmful and I will try to let it go away. Oh yeah, I welcome any more comments, because you sound like a decent thinking guy...

Sincerely.

Note on April 27, 2007

I made an editorial change to my writing, because I felt I used the wrong word in the heat of the moment. Tonight I saw clips of John McCain's appearance with Jon Stewart. I felt a little sickened. John McCain seems like a good guy, you know. Political haranguing unsettles me, comedy became the presenter's political platform. Everything becomes completely polarized, when it needn't have been.

Bill Moyers' Journal : "Buying the War"

2007-04-25T22:16:00.000-04:00

Documentary on how the Bush regime duped America into the Iraq war, and how the American press gave obscenely biased coverage in favor of those who trumpeted war. Phil Donahue is my new hero for the day!

My heart is filled with rage for all the goddamn politicians on Capitol Hill who lied through their teeth. The day I read that there were no WMD's in Iraq, that there were no links between Al Qaeda and Saddam, was the day I realized that the ones responsible for all those lies are the villains who sent patriotic American soldiers to an immoral war, who are responsible for all the deaths that are happening to soldiers and ordinary civilians in Iraq, and who may ultimately be responsible for perpetuating the cycle of hate. Fuck you, your misguided policies, your fucked-up "war on terror".

All of you narrow-minded, dogmatic scum, that's you, O'Reilly, Coulter, and all of you who I care not to name, you deserve shit.

America, read the BBC, CBC, etc. for balanced, sensible, perceptive information.

From Kai -- In support of liberty, equality and fraternity.

Frontline -- Hot Politics

2007-04-24T22:34:00.000-04:00

Watched a documentary on WETA on global warming and american politics. Fascinating!

Lazboy will wake up early tomorrow to swim in the morning.

I watch Will and Grace not because they're gay

2007-04-23T23:12:00.000-04:00

But they're so funny tonight!

That's all for the night, fellas

2007-04-22T22:36:00.000-04:00

Past the 45. Haven't written about Gasquet, my wonderful trip next month, Danny, my thoughts.

I lie here dreaming.

Signing off for the night with a boy.

Something about danny and something about myself (III)

2007-04-22T21:50:00.002-04:00

I'm thinking of a whole lot of things, but before I go into that, can you guess on which two islands did I grow up? I used to ride the funicular railway up a beautiful hill for the spectacular panorama.

I played on the beaches of the island.

I loved climbing the steps of this temple and tossing veges for the tortoises in the huge rocky pit.

At the age of five, I moved to this island of gleaming skyscrapers. I went to the school with the brightest students and studied hard. Almost everyone else studied harder. I didn't study very hard like the others because school textbooks bored me! I preferred lugging a huge Atlas or encyclopaedia volumes into the toilet to read. Sometimes I spent an hour sitting there reading. Talk about strange habits. That was when I discovered I could probably study anything I wanted and be reasonably good. But I remember my favorite subject in high school (and college, and grad school) were Japanese for a long time, then French when I did that, and finally German
(but I think I like Japanese and French better).

I was an honest, frank, and cheerful boy.

I was twenty when I crossed the ocean to come to America. I toyed with studying law at the university back home, because I wanted to fight for justice, fairness and equality, but I wanted to come here and explore the world! So I came. Oh, before that, I did a two-year stint in the army, because I had to. Boy, was that an experience (a pretty horridly exciting one)!

But anyway I was out of there.

Sunday 2145

2007-04-22T21:44:00.001-04:00

Let's see how much I can write within the next 45 minutes.

Wild Kingdom

2007-04-15T22:30:00.000-04:00

On Animal Planet's Wild Kingdom tonight, a leopard seal caught a penguin and offered it to the undersea photographer! To her bewilderment, the man didn't take it, so she let the penguin go. Seal and man looked at each other, wondering what was going on in each other's complex minds, before seal swam away into the depths.

Male Corps

2007-04-14T23:47:00.000-04:00

SPC. RICHARD MAWER
U.S. ARMY

STATUS: RESERVE
LOCATION: ILLINOIS

STATS: 29/6'1"/185/BLUE EYES/BROWN HAIR/SMOOTH HARD BODY/GREAT ASS

LOOKING FOR: REGULAR GUYS - NOT GYM BUNNIES OR BARFLIES

INTO: GUYS, VERSATILE

E-MAIL: Richard@MALECORPS.COM

LT. SCOTT TEMPLETON
SEAL TEAM 7, PLATOON ALPHA
TACTICAL ASSAULT

STATUS: ACTIVE DUTY
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED

STATS: 28/5'8"/165/BROWN EYES/BROWN HAIR/LEAN MUSCULAR/DEFINED/7 INCHES CUT

LOOKING FOR: SEX WITH STRANGERS... PEOPLE WATCHING EACH OTHER MASTURBATE BEFORE FUCKING...

INTO: HOCKEY, BASEBALL, LIFTING WEIGHTS, STAYING FIT... TRAVEL THE WORLD AND ENJOY EROTIC EXPERIENCES IN NEW AND INTERESTING PLACES.

E-MAIL: ScottTempleton@MALECORPS.COM

PO3. CASEY O'CONNORS
U.S. NAVY (SEAL)
NAVAL SPECIAL WARFARE UNIT 43

STATUS: ACTIVE DUTY
LOCATION: DEPLOYED IN IRAQ

STATS: 22/5'11"/170/AUBURN/BROWN EYES/VERY DEFINED WITH 6 PACK/8 INCHES

LOOKING FOR: WOMEN WITH GREAT BODIES

INTO: VALE-TUDO, FREESTYLE WRESTLING, LIFTING WEIGHTS, CLUBS AND RUNAWAY MODELING

Laying on the bed thinking of things

2007-04-09T23:45:00.000-04:00

Thinking of many things, yea.

There's so many things, but alas, only twenty-four hours.

Please read this about a tragic death.

Something about danny and something about myself (II)

2007-04-08T21:40:00.000-04:00

I was born on a faraway island with golden sandy beaches and steep craggy mountains, but grew up on another speck in the sea, less spectacular in natural beauty, but of a greater human vibrance. From a childhood of bathroom-reading and ingenuous wonderings, I wound up in high school with some guys with whom I share the fondest memories. After some bumps and bruises, I found myself in liberal America and figuring out the world together with a bunch I call my Berkeley buddies. Then I made my way across the cornfields to a little college town where I fell in love with swimming. Plunging myself headlong into life, I finally left school and got my first real job, and this is where I find myself today. I miss my friends and family and am thinking of many things.

Sleepy

2007-04-08T00:14:00.000-04:00

Photo from Sue's blog - thanks. (Turns me on...)

Too sleepy to write, again. But wanted to write.

Today, good day!

Good night!

Fucking Shit

2007-04-05T22:33:00.000-04:00

I fucking hate talking with my mom. I know this sounds really bad, but every time I look forward to getting her call, or calling her to chat, and it turns out to be fucking shitty every time. I never will be able to express my thoughts completely without having to listen to some advice. I try to tell her, for example, that I roasted two chickens, well I'm about to say how I roasted them and how good they turned out, and of course the only things that ever are discussed end up being "make sure you don't leave it for too long" and "too much fat if you cook it this way". You don't know how much better I am watching my diet than most! Well, you fucking do! But you just have to be so fucking naggy! And then we end up talking about those practical things, and suggestions I make fizzle as they are brought under scrutiny. You're so burdensome! And I so fucking hate it now, because I care, and I want better, and we end up talking stupid shit every time!

I so fucking hate it! Fucking hell. Fucking shit.

Something about danny and something about myself (I)

2007-04-03T21:36:00.000-04:00

Cherry blossoms at the Tidal Basin, March 31, 2007

All kinds of things are said about it, but I say that one loses himself. Over several forthcoming posts, however long it takes to complete, I wish to write a few things about Danny and about myself here. I keep coming back to this, part of me wants to but part of me doesn't, and part of me is beginning to sense that I ought to be finished and done with it soon. One never knows, though.

Tonight is just the short preamble. As usual I run out of time to write. I have had the time to put two pictures up, that's it. Pittsburgh, I wanted to show you the picture, if you recall. But I haven't figured how to take a good picture at low light levels with my camera. So I've put up a photo of the inner harbor in Baltimore instead.

Baltimore inner harbor, a sunny day in early March, 2007

Quiet in between Lights and Dreams

2007-03-28T22:20:00.000-04:00

I can feel it. Dan and Jon. Soon, together, they would be. They're there, living their lives together, I know, I knew it too.

Last night, I was in Pittsburgh. In my jeans, a tee, boots, sitting on the bench on Mount Washington. A cool Spring shower passing overhead, the lights of the beautiful city dancing in front of me, down the cliff and across the river. I swallowed my dinner, feeling the cool rain touch me. I didn't cry! I was happy, even though I was with myself and nobody else, and people, a few of them, walked by in front of me on the sidewalk overlooking the cliff, they glanced, wondering. I was happy! The lights were dancing.

I know it, they enjoyed themselves too last night, or so I imagine, because I will never know for sure. Enjoying their lives together, despite the falseness of separation, uncertainty.

Despite all this, I know what I'm going to do! The silent voices give me the words to go on, and I see tomorrow, tonight, love, peace.

You wouldn't get on a plane

2007-03-25T10:58:00.000-04:00

Dying Amazon, Franz von Stuck

Amazon 'faces more deadly droughts'

By James Painter
Latin America analyst

Two years ago the world was shocked by pictures of hundreds of rotting fish floating in the world's second largest river.

Stranded villagers stared in bewilderment at dried out banks, and helicopters delivered food and water to isolated river communities.

They were the images of the widespread drought in 2005 in the Amazon - an area of lush rainforest in most people's imagination. It was the worst in some areas since records began, and prompted the Brazilian government to declare a state of emergency.

Nearly two years on, the world may have forgotten the drought, but the scientific community has not. Meeting at Oxford University this week, many of the world's leading experts on climate change and Amazonia have been grappling with issues critical to the future climate of the world.

Did global warming cause the drought? How likely is it that such droughts will be repeated in a warming world? And just how much devastation did the drought cause?

There was broad consensus that the 2005 drought was linked not to El Nino - the periodic phenomenon which begins with a warming of waters in the Pacific - as with most previous droughts in the Amazon, but to warming sea surface temperatures in the tropical North Atlantic.

Peter Cox, professor in climate change dynamics at the University of Essex in the UK, thinks the same factors which caused the drought are likely to be repeated.

What drives it, he says, is the warming of the North Atlantic Ocean in the Tropics relative to the South - this causes less rain to fall.

'Forest dieback'

So how often could such droughts happen?

The Hadley Centre climate change model predicts that, under current levels of greenhouse gas emissions, the chances of such a drought would rise from 5% now (one every 20 years) to 50% by 2030, and to 90% by 2100.

"We can't say for sure that any individual drought such as the one in 2005 is caused by global warming," says Mr Cox.

"But we can say the probability of such an event will increase as a result of human-induced climate change and could be very common indeed by the end of the century."

The Hadley Centre model is one of several global climate models (GCMs) attempting to predict weather changes in the Amazon.

It is best known for warning of catastrophic losses of forest in the Amazon over a period of decades known as "forest dieback".

Other models show very different patterns of rainfall over the Amazon, but experts at the conference regard the Hadley model as one of the more robust.

"The Hadley Centre model does a credible job," says Carlos Nobre, the Brazilian chair of the International Geosphere-Biosphere programme.

"What all the GCMs predict is much greater variability in the weather, and the Hadley model captures that well."

Human factor?

There is less uncertainty about the impact and the unusual nature of the 2005 drought.

"It was very atypical in its location and intensity," says Mr Nobre.

"Most Amazonian droughts occur in the north-eastern Amazon, but this one started in the west and south-west, and its impact spread as far as the centre and east."

Downstream in the city of Manaus, the Amazon's level dropped three metres lower than average.

Many communities dependent on the river for transport were left stranded as tributaries dried out. For the first time, a very large spread of forest fires was recorded in the south-west region.

New research by Luiz Aragao at Oxford University's Environmental Change Institute shows the extent of the fires.

"An area of 2,800 sq km (1081 sq miles) was lost due to an extensive leakage of fires into newly-flammable forest," he says.

That is an area more than 1.5 times the size of Greater London.

Mr Aragao's research shows the fires occurred mainly where there was human activity which could ignite them.

In other areas affected by the drought where there are few humans, such as south-eastern Peru, there was little evidence of any fires.

High impact

The more alarming predictions for the Amazon say the combination of forest fires, drought, deforestation, changes in land use (such as soya production) and global warming will combine to push the Amazon over a "tipping point" into a cycle of destruction.

Scientists at the conference were keen to stress they do not know the risk of this occurring, but talked instead of "corridors of probability".

There is disagreement over these corridors.

"The Hadley Centre model predicts it is very likely indeed that the Amazon will be severely impacted by climate change over the next few decades," says Professor Cox.

"But if you take all the models, then maybe a 10 to 40% probability is more defensible."

But however low the probability, changes to the Amazon are likely to be a "high impact" event on the world's climate.

As one conference speaker pointed out: "You wouldn't get on a plane if you knew there was a 10% chance of it crashing."

Some thoughts on an early Spring night in March

2007-03-23T23:12:00.000-04:00

I wrote a whole bunch here just now, but some blogger error erased everything. Fucking hell. I am so fucking pissed. I wanted to say thanks everyone, especially Sue, for reading and commenting on my blog. And I had all those other things that I wrote about. I'm thinking Dan and Jon are getting back together -- at least I imagine that they are. Jon mentioned somewhere he's quitting smoking, and I imagine Dan to be too (It's always what I wished for, and I told Dan that.) It's almost like they'll get back together soon. They're good friends and all. It'd be false for me to say I want that to happen, but I'd be happy for Dan. God! I so fucking still love him so much, although the words here don't make it sound like I do. This is so not what I wrote just now, I'm just fucking pissed and sleepy now.

The boy that is me

2007-03-22T21:59:00.000-04:00

Today I sent an email to Dan. I wrote it with all my heart. As best as I could, I gave him my few words of encouragement. I felt like I was softly floating on a fluffy cloud for a few moments after that.

I told my co-worker Kim that I've decided on adopting a golden retriever from the shelter after all. She loves dogs too, so I told her she could be my dog's godmother in the future. Tomorrow we're thinking of hitting the bar for a Friday evening drink or two. Looking forward to that!

Went swimming twice today. I know, I'm going a little over the top with the swimming. Tonight, Matt showed me the thumb drag drill. Katie, the chatty lifeguard, helped me too. I had a fun time. At one point, though, my fears and insecurities took over me momentarily and I burst into silly laughter. I got the funny look from Matt. It's me the silly, insecure boy who ends up behaving oddly because he's trying too hard to be cool, funny.

So I tell myself and everyone here, those goals I set for myself earlier don't mean a thing if I don't face up to the rocks that are really pulling me down, and those rocks are my fears and insecurities. And what are they? I fear loneliness, and I'm totally insecure about the way I look. I fear losing the things in my life, so I don't relax and chill, and I'm self-conscious about my own behavior. Funny those happens most acutely in the company of good-looking men. Tonight I own up here, and from tonight I shall not let those fears and insecurities overtake me again.

Also, I want to own up to two incidents that I have been hiding. The first happened when I was in Berkeley. I was still a closeted guy back then. I followed a really good-looking dude around (yeah, stalked him) and took pictures of him just to look at them afterwards. But very soon I was caught and confronted on the streets. It's long ago, but I remember him demanding, "Are you fucking gay?" To which I replied, "Are you homophobic?" Thanks to the times that we live in and to all the good gay guys who sacrificed themselves before my time, I saw a look of embarrassment on his face. The naive boy in me kept wanting to explain that I meant no harm at all, I was but a poor little obsessed fool who couldn't find an outlet for his gay love.

The second incident happened some time ago, just before I finally came out. Again it was a question of misplaced admiration. Long story short, I said to this really hot dude that I really wanted to suck his cock right now. Of course he got totally livid. At the time, I only saw that I was just being honest, and I wanted to know really badly why straight men should get upset. After all, I didn't mean it in any bad way at all.

So starting from tonight, from now on, I shall hold my head high and slowly untie the bind to those fears and insecurities. When you see my picture up on this page, you'd know I've finally made it.

As you know, I'm really into swimming, so I'm going to be working on those drills and more, and really learn as much as I can. Also, today I got a reply to a note I sent to someone so I'm delighted. Watch me, I feel like I'm finally starting to break away from the bad things plaguing me. Watch me, I shall swim on! I'm free, free from those horrid things!

Thinking of

2007-03-21T22:16:00.000-04:00

Today was a good day at work. Today was a decent day at the pool.

Articles from the BBC

2007-03-21T21:58:00.000-04:00

Viewpoints: Abe sex slave row

Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe has said there is no evidence that women were forced to become sex slaves, or so-called comfort women, by the Japanese army during World War II.

The BBC News website spoke to people across East Asia about Mr Abe's remarks and their impact on Japan's relations with its neighbours.

GINA LEE, 22, STUDENT, SEOUL

Abe's remarks are inevitably going to have a huge impact on Japan's relations with its neighbours.

The memories of the bitter colonisation are still fresh in Korean people's minds. There are still people, including my grandparents, who lived through it.

Hearing stories about that period has had a huge impact on young people's views on Japan. Although many young Koreans have an interest in Japanese culture and language, it is impossible to forget what happened only two, three generations ago.

I visited the House of Sharing - a government-sponsored establishment for former comfort women and I translated the testimony of one of the women living there. I have been unable to forget this experience.

She told us how she was sold by her step-father, how brutally she was beaten and raped by soldiers and how she was later rejected by society, including her own family.

She then answered a question from a Japanese student who asked what the young Japanese generation could do to put her mind at peace.

Her answer was: 'A formal apology and compensation from the Japanese government.'

This is what former comfort women demonstrate for every Wednesday in front of the Japanese embassy in Seoul.

Japan's failure to acknowledge its war crimes is a huge hurdle in establishing good relations with its neighbours.

I had high hopes for Abe when he took office. I was hoping that he can undo the damage done by Koizumi's frequent visits to the Yasukuni Shrine.

Now I firmly believe that he is worse than Koizumi. It is hypocritical of him to claim he wants to improve Japan's ties with its neighbours and then blatantly deny what happened less than a century ago.

YANG ZHOU, 22, CHINESE STUDENT IN SINGAPORE

Mr Abe's remarks on comfort women will have been received with varying degree of outrage in China.

You will almost certainly get uniform responses saying that the Japanese government's constant denial of their country's historical crimes, like the using of comfort women and the Nanjing massacre, is disgusting.

To most Chinese these are unquestionable facts: they were taught at school and were reinforced through media over and over again.

The majority of China's repressed teenagers, who are desperately trying to find a target for their anger and frustration, would not miss this chance. You can well expect a storm of verbal assaults on Abe from teenagers and students on major Chinese online forums.

They cannot openly attack the Communist regime because that would only get them into trouble.

Therefore, the aggressive diplomatic stance taken by Japan, which most young Chinese regard as an economically developed, yet annoying neighbour, would be seen as a socially and politically acceptable target for their anger.

On the other hand, the working population will have little time to worry about what Mr Abe has got to say because they have enough problems of their own.

It must have been very clear to Mr Abe that the issue of comfort women is an extremely sensitive one in neighbouring countries who were once victims of Japan's militaristic ambitions.

He must have made his own political calculations before making that remark. He wanted to send a clear message that the new government's foreign policy is in line with that of the previous one.

What he achieved though was to put Japan in a disadvantageous diplomatic position. By continuously denying and downplaying historical crimes, Japan will become a common enemy without a friend in this region.

NANCY WANG, 30, IT WORKER, TAIWAN

For a Japanese prime minister to openly and seriously suggest that women were not coerced to become sex slaves is incredibly stupid.

I don't think any of Shinzo Abe's predecessors have put it quite this way.

I think that he is no different from Junichiro Koizumi or any other Japanese conservative politician.

People in Taiwan have mixed feelings for Japan. At the beginning of the 20th century Taiwan was part of the Japanese empire.

The Japanese did lots of industrial construction, while at the same time they treated Taiwanese people as second-class human beings.

But when the Kuomintang (KMT) came along, the order established by the Japanese fell apart. The KMTs chaotic ways were in a stark contrast to how the Japanese ruled during the colonial days.

I think this is one important reason why so many elderly people have good memories of Japan. And Japan's domination of our island wasn't as bloody as in other parts of the Japanese empire.

As for the atrocities the Japanese committed during World War II, I feel that the government's attitude moves more and more towards denial.

They think that they are a glorious race. So it would be very embarrassing for them acknowledge the truth and tell their young generation about their past deeds.

They probably think that time will erase the humiliation and memories of what they've done.

I think China will give Japan a hard time over this. Japanese who have businesses in China may well find themselves on the receiving end.

The more powerful China and Korea become, the more justice they will demand from the Japanese government. This is the epitome of international political reality.

BEN MUNDIN, 54, BUSINESSMAN, PHILIPPINES

Japan's refusal to acknowledge war-time crimes is predictable. According to their version of history, Japan never committed atrocities during the war.

What is emphasised in their history books are the heroics of their soldiers during World War II.

Until their historical books are completely rewritten, the Japanese people will never understand why their neighbours feel so strongly about this subject.

Mr Abe's remarks are typical of a politician who wants to retain his lofty position in the Japanese political world.

Maybe he is under pressure from the conservatives to make that kind of statement. He wouldn't want to antagonise them, as his position might become insecure.

There isn't much interest in the Philippines about what Mr Abe has to say on the issue of comfort women. The majority of people are much more interested in the forthcoming elections.

Even the Philippine's official position came out mute in the papers - it was buried inside the pages.

The Philippines reaction may not be able to create a significant threat to Mr Abe's position in view of our dependence on Japanese aid.

However, what Mr Abe does not realise is that other countries offended by his remarks, like China and South Korea, carry more political and economic weight to make decisions that could affect Japan.

Best of British

A cut glass English accent can fool unsuspecting Americans into detecting a "brilliance that isn't there", says Stephen Fry. So is a British accent - of any variety - the route to success in the United States?
"Gee, I just love your accent."

Any Brit crossing the Atlantic will have heard that line many times. Like the rest of us, Americans are rarely immune to the charms of an accent different from their own.

There's the amusement value of listening to someone who sounds like they might just punctuate their sentences with "oh, behave". And a British accent can conjure up a stereotype of a polite, droll, self-effacing race.

But very few Brits are like Hugh Grant (Grant himself has kicked over the traces of his Four Weddings and a Funeral persona), and Stephen Fry speculates that Americans may be dazzled by the British accent.

"I shouldn't be saying this, high treason really, but I sometimes wonder if Americans aren't fooled by our accent into detecting a brilliance that may not really be there."

Fry - who puts his own melodious tones down to having "vocal cords made of tweed" - made the suggestion after seeing a "blitz of Brits" scoop many of this year's Golden Globes and Oscars.

His comments come as a new generation of British stars are trying to prove themselves in the US, while staying true to their regional roots (and more are landing plum jobs in US hit shows with accents other than their own).

About to try their luck are Ant and Dec, who will record the pilot of a new ABC game show - not a bad score in a country where they are best known for a brief cameo playing themselves in Love Actually, and as tone-deaf American Idol contestants playing a joke on judge Simon Cowell, currently the US's favourite pantomime limey baddie.

The network hopes they will enjoy more success than previous imports Anne Robinson and Johnny Vaughan - his 2005 game show My Kind of Town was cancelled after four episodes, with entertainment industry paper The Hollywood Reporter describing the Londoner as "heavily accented (and equally heavily annoying)".

America's most wanted

Another Brit currently feted in the US is Borat creator Sacha Baron Cohen, who gave Rolling Stone a rare interview as himself, rather than in character. The magazine was much taken with his "deep, genteel British accent", which in the UK might be described as educated north London.

"For most Americans, there's no distinction between British accents. For us, there's just one sort of British accent, and it's better than any American accent - more educated, more genteel," says Rosina Lippi-Green, a US academic and author of English with an Accent: Language, Ideology and Discrimination in the United States.

"It's a way of speaking that is all tied up with the Old Country, the Queen."

This perception extends to any UK accent, she says, divorcing the voice from any regional or class associations it might carry for a fellow Brit.

"There was a sitcom called Dead Like Me with a Brit [Callum Blue] in it. He was a scruffy, 20-something drug dealer. Even he had that sort of patina - his was not an RP accent, it was a working class London accent."

As for Parminder Nagra, plucked from Bend It Like Beckham to star in ER with her soft Midlands accent intact: "Oh, she's thought to be very, very classy, very Oxbridge."

And Simon Cowell, minting it as an American Idol judge? "He's the classic stereotype of a stuck-up Englishman - and stuck-up is something that goes with that perception of Britishness." Little wonder he's found success - the British baddie is a Hollywood staple.

Master and servant

As is the English butler. Henry Pryor, the founder of primemove.co.uk and the Register Of Estate Agents website, worked for Savills International in the late 1980s and early 90s, helping wealthy US buyers purchase flashy dockside apartments, gracious town houses and country piles in the UK.

"Our accents added a huge amount to what they thought they were buying into. This was the age of Four Weddings and a Funeral and Brideshead Revisited - and Arthur, in which John Gielgud played a butler. They approached having an English broker in the same way as having an English tailor or butler - it was a trophy of sorts."

And with a classic public school accent, Mr Pryor played up his Englishness. "It added cachet - you were buying a piece of English real estate from a guy who spoke just like Hugh Grant, and might look foppishly like him. I suspect it's the flipside of what my mother's generation found during World War II - the English seduced by American accents."

Katharine Jones, author of Accent of Privilege: English Identities and Anglophilia in the US, says the cultured associations have a long history. "British etiquette books have been used for years; and although Americans say they have no class system, they do - and the American upper class apes the British upper class."

Then there is the air of authority such a voice carries, hence the number of ads that use English-accented voiceover artists for products such as insurance and mouth wash.

Good neighbours

Whereas UK expats in Australia tend to lose their accents quite quickly, those in the US are less likely to, Ms Jones says. "They don't have as much incentive to change because of the perceived benefits - leaving a message in a 'posh' accent about a sought-after apartment and the landlady rings you straight back; the ripped-up parking tickets..."

And the job offers. Strictly Come Dancing judge Len Goodman is currently recording his fourth series of the US version of the BBC show, Dancing with the Stars. He describes his own voice and choice of phrases as Cockney.

"Part of the reason they wanted me was my accent. Along with Bruno Tonioli, who's Italian, it lends the judging panel a cosmopolitan edge."

But he has modified the way he talks. "I do have to speak more slowly, and I play up to it. I might say 'that wasn't my cup of tea' or 'give it a bit of welly'. They love those quirky phrases."

As one who could never be described as sounding like the Queen, Goodman finds that his regional accent often confuses listeners. "I get asked if I'm Australian."

So does Liverpudlian Alison Walters, an immigration lawyer in Los Angles. But she enjoys feeling unique, and says that people are more friendly, and treat her with respect. "You do get preferential treatment and more of people's time, but I do think that is also down to our manners - saying please and thank you."

Then there's the perception that a British accent equals a brain the size of a planet - a perception reinforced by the not-uncommon belief that for the British, English is a second language. "From time to time I was complimented on how quick I was to pick up the language," says Mr Pryor.

Ms Walters adds that as the average American has a hard time following what she's saying, "perhaps the perception of being more intelligent comes from the fact they only understand 50% of what you are uttering".

With planeloads of Brits relocating to the US - not to mention three million tourists who visit the country every year - the stereotype of floppy fringes and plummy vowels must surely be due an overhaul.

Add your comments on this story, using the form below.

I attended Harvard Business School in Boston, where a large part of the grade is awarded on spoken contributions to the classroom. Brits generally did better there than other nationalities. I have no doubt that a large part of this was just the natural brilliance of the British. However, if I'm honest, Americans' perception that the accent was indicative of brain-the-size-of-planet intelligence was also a factor. I'm afraid that dear old Mr Fry has given away the game away.
Sam, London

"May I have 12 slices of salami, please?"
"I love your accent. You're English, right?".
"No, I'm Welsh."
"French?"
"No, Welsh. I'm from Wales."
"Oh, whales [with a very strong 'h']. That's part of England, right?"
"No, it's..." At this point I feel tempted to give a made-up explanation of what and where my homeland is. Somewhere off Greenland, perhaps? Reminding myself that I am an ambassador for my country I give an all-too practiced explanation. Blank faces. My accent, rather than being a benefit, is an almost constant reminder that my country, of which I am justly proud, is an unknown entity to at least 99% of the people I speak to. Frankly, I find it all a bit disheartening. I console myself with the notion that the American education system is lacking in the geography department and move on. "May I have 5lbs of potatoes, please?" "I love your accent. You're English, right?"
Paul Beckerton, Georgetown, Kentucky, US

Who wouldn't prefer a British accent to an American one? It just sounds better, no matter what the UK region or class it comes from. American accents are so much hard-edged and more nasal. It seems to me that most American accents make you seem like either a thug or a junior high school drop-out. I am an American but definitely acknowledge this.
Sanford Santacroce, NYC, US

I work in Strategic Planning at a major advertising agency in New York. Having been born and bred in India, I have what I would call a "leftover English" Indian accent. In this politically correct country, it's both funny and sad to see how people who have only spoken to me on the phone, react when they see me in person. I've also been told that I can get away with a lot of outrageous stuff because of my accent. About that, I'm not complaining.
RP Kumar, New York

Being Northern Irish, I find people, whether it be in the US or in England bemused by my accent. It's not just Americans who lack a good sense of world geography, English people are similarly shocking when it comes to the geography of the UK. Like the guy who said that when asked, he says London rather than Shropshire, I find it easier to say Belfast, rather than the country or the town. I've found myself dumbing down my accent and changed the idiomatic phrases that I use in order to stand out less and be patronised and laughed at, with the inverse of that being when I go home to NI having an anglicised twang on my accent.
Philip Kee, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire

I grew up bilingually, speaking with an English (generic southern) accent at home with my family and the US accent I learned at school. Neither one is perfectly sound, each having a twang that sets it apart from a native speaker and my vocabulary, slang and spelling are more American. The change between the two happens subconsciously based on who I'm around. American friends get a bit nervous the first time they hear me talk to relatives, they think I've got a split personality. It can be quite convenient though to put one or the other on in certain situations. Any other English-born kids who grew up in the US have a similar situation? I've lived there since I was seven, about 15 years; my parents' haven't changed at all, but my younger brother's is far more American-slanted than mine.
Jacob, Virginia

I have two accents, my native Scouse and a straight English accent I use when trying to communicate with people who are unfortunate enough not to come from Liverpool. A few years back I was working in Tennessee as an ICT consultant. I generally used my straight English accent which I found attracted a great deal of attention from the fairer sex. On one occasion while sitting talking to a fellow Liverpudlian at a booth in a bar in Nashville, two very pretty young ladies came up to us and asked if we spoke English to which I replied "better than most". They were totally gobsmacked and sat next to us and one said "wow you speak real good English... but what was that other language you where just talking?" For the first time since arriving in the US, we were speechless!
John Murphy, Liverpool

"Yes - I'm the Queen's cousin."
Works every time with my accent.
Joe, RP London, England

As an expat living in Canada I'm always getting told how nice my accent is. But when people try to imitate it, it always comes out sounding like Del Boy...
Callum, Quebec, Canada

After 25 years here my accent has yet to successfully talk me out of a traffic ticket - but maybe I shouldn't be addressing the men in blue as "constable"?
John Kelly, New York City

I recently started as a consultant at a bank in New York and have since learnt from my co-workers that my CV was put on the top of the pile because I was British. Rolling out the British tones at interview was a formality.
Alex Preston, New York, US (originally Oxford, England)

I'm reading these comments with glee: as a Scot about to move to the US with my American girlfriend I shall expect 5-star treatment and favours everywhere I go.
Chris Evans, Glasgow

Sorry but I am NOT a fan of the "British" accent in any way. Sure, some of my countrymen who haven't travelled outside the US are easily impressed with a bit of cockney, but it doesn't do anything for me at all, except to have me wondering just whom this affectation of erudition and breeding is supposed to impress. I don't buy it - nor does anyone else I know. And yes, I'm an educated, well travelled person.
Johnny Wells, Santa Paula CA US

On my first visit to America I tried to cash a cheque (check!) at a bank in Chicago. The bank teller said "Excuse me?" three times, making me repeat my request. In the end she smiled disarmingly (Americans are good at that) and admitted "I heard you the first time. I just wanted to hear your accent again!" But it can be a two-edged sword as the BBC article points out. Sometimes Americans interpret the British accent as snobbish and aloof and unfriendly (British people cannot talk and smile at the same time like Americans). So it can lead to misunderstandings. But in truth it really is an advantage being British over here (even with a Yorkshire accent like mine). Of course, it is an advantage that evaporates the minute you set foot on British soil.
Pip, Michigan, US

There are some here in America who can discern the lilt of Londoners' accents from the cut of a Manchester accent, for example. But not many. The same can be true for Americans' accents abroad. How many Brits can tell the difference between a bloke from Kentucky and a chap from Montana by accent alone? Not many, I would assume.
Ryan, Winston-Salem, North Carolina

I spent 11 years in California and lowly, I had to modify (Americanise) the way I spoke so that people would listen to what I was saying and not how I was saying it. I, also, had to employ local idioms otherwise entire rooms full of people would burst out in adoring, but patronising, laughter. Eventually, my accent changed and I constantly got accused of being an Aussie. I came back to England in 2002 and found myself stuck with a twang that I'm only just now losing. But, I'll never forget the blank looks I used to get when I was asked the inevitable question, "Where are you from in England?" I soon learned that the only answer really was "London" because "Shropshire" simply didn't register.
Jon Bailey, Shrewsbury, UK

I've been living and working in the States for four years. People constantly comment on my accent and the company I work for like to have me answer their phones because they think my voice sounds professional. I have been asked a few times where I learned to speak English so well before I moved to the States though, despite me saying I am from England.
Sarah, Louisville, Kentucky, US

I work here as a truck driver and always get strange reactions to my Scots accent. Sometimes it opens doors, sometimes slams them hard on my face. I often have to repeat myself as people listen to how I say things, not to what I'm actually saying.
Gary, Morristown, Tennessee, US

Married to an expat Brit, I can tell you he gets preferential treatment at a lot of places, especially during interviews for work. It's gotten to the point where I've thought about affecting a British accent myself (which I can impersonate quite well after ten years of marriage)just so I can get a cushy job as well. Of course on the flipside, he often gets frustrated when the employees a the local McDonalds don't understand a word he says and they get his order all wrong and my order is happily correct...
Ainy, Baltimore, US

Oh how true! and how unfair! My British wife still bowls over the gullible Americans at every turn with her cute Scots-Irish accent. Free coffees, better tables in restaurants, better service, and on and on ad nausea. Our recent four years living in York got me no such treatment in kind with my cute and quiet American accent. Oh well, time to just give up and cheerfully hang on her coattails for the perquisites.
Christopher Kovach, New Albany, Ohio, US

A friend of mine went on holiday to Florida.
In the first week he was complimented : "You speak really good American."
In the second week, he was asked which part of France he was from.
He's from Leeds.
Mark Jones, Plymouth, Devon

Belgians in anti-racism weddings

About 700 Belgian couples have symbolically wed in a Flemish town where three couples had refused to let a black official marry them.

Deputy Mayor Wouter Van Bellingen was the first black councillor elected in St-Niklaas in northern Belgium.

In response to the snub, Mr Van Bellingen decided to organise a mass wedding as an anti-racism protest.

On a cold, wet night, the couples shouted "yes" when Mr Van Bellingen asked if they were ready to marry.

The day's events - chosen to coincide with the International Day against Racism - kicked off with a group hug before the assembled couples exchanged or renewed vows.

There was then a huge wedding photo, a "multicultural dessert buffet" and a wedding dance.

'Primitive form of racism'

Geere Brokken said he was participating to make an anti-racism statement.

"We were indignant that people refused to marry because of someone's skin colour," he said.

The councillor, Mr Van Bellingen, said of February's incident: "It was the most primitive form of racism. Nothing but the colour of my skin."

At least 2,000 letters and emails poured in after the incident, AFP news agency reports.

The Rwandan-born councillor was adopted by a Flemish family at birth.

He was elected councillor in the town of some 70,000, 50km (30 miles) north of Brussels, in local elections in October.

At the same elections, the anti-immigration Vlaams Belang got 26% of the vote.

The group has accused Mr Van Bellingen of using the mass wedding to further his political ambitions.

Thousands of people marched last year following the killing of a woman of African origin and the two-year-old girl she was a nanny for in Antwerp.

"We have to take away the fear of the unknown. If you are unknown, you are unloved," Mr Van Bellingen said.