Perhaps this doesn't matter anymore

To all past, present and future readers:

Blogs may be for different things. For me, I write sometimes to let others know my thoughts in an anonymous sort of way. There are times when I feel the need to write my thoughts here and have somebody else read them at random, but there are other times and other thoughts that I could only keep to myself (and I write them in my own diary sometimes).

Sometimes, things change over time too. Here I want to let you know that one such post has changed today. In May 2006, I posted one story entitled "If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things", relating the true account of how a few events over the course of a few months had changed my life profoundly. I still continue to relive them, and I do think it is so much a part of me that I will continue to do so. But it is a private account, one that needed an anonymous airing -- yet it is a private one, and today I have tucked it away.

Also, I browsed through some of my posts back in the early part of 2006 -- some of them seem so absurd now!

Ich sehe die dinge so wie sie sind

Some thoughts that need more writing:

Man soll nie nie sagen

Ceux qui m'aiment prendront le train

Und andere, d'autres

Dreaming

Today's another day I can't swim because it's threatening thunderstorms. It's going to be three days I haven't swum. I shall have to do my "perfect" pushups at home -- which aren't quite the same as swimming. I want to swim! I'm going to work on my body, storm or not.

I've been looking at homes in Buffalo and Amherst. I want to go there someday and I tell myself I will. This will be in, say, ten years, though. And I'm daydreaming now but it seems so real. Why are the homes in North Bailey so much less than other Amherst homes? I look at other neighborhoods around the university and in parts of Buffalo such as Allentown, too.

I also want to start learning french again in addition to the german classes I'm taking right now, but I'm not sure if that is wise in terms of time. Besides the exercise, fitness, the tennis, learning languages is my joy. I've got this book with pictures and a list of my joyful interests -- it is not my intention to do everything at once but I sometimes imagine about that.

I read gay news and gay life websites everyday and I wonder what I can do. What can I do and what do I want to do?

I was planning to upload a photo and say I got the photo above from the outsports website, but it is not letting me for some reason.

Update (11/19): I figured it out. So there's the picture. And then, I wonder sometimes if I'm a little enchanted, so many people say mean things about Buffalo. But I'm in love, and love's beauty will save the world and will make Buffalo a beautiful, lovely place.