Der Gute Mensch Dan

I like to talk about Dan on this blog, as you know. This is one of the few places I can take out some of the things closest to my heart, put them away neatly and safely in a box, and place that box back in my heart again.

Episodes from the last few days made me think about Dan again. I probably would like to chat with Mom about this tonight. I want to tell her and to tell you, that even though Dan is not here and that Dan isn't with me, I feel strong and my heart fills with love for the kind and beautiful people and things in this world when I think of Dan. It sounds sappy, I know. But it really is how I feel.

This part is really for Sue to read. Sue, thanks for everything. I told you some very real things at the time. I only got to know of this later. I was sorry to hear from Dan, that they broke up. Dan says he thinks of Jon a lot still.

You see, it does not make me happy that they are not together. I do look out of the window every day, seeing the sun shining in, and think about spending my time with him. But it's not about having him, do you know? It's about just seeing him, talking with him, and spending some happy days, and knowing he's happy and healthy.

Here's something for me to look back down the road. My job is good to me. It's all sounding insane to say, but if Dan is still where he is when the time comes, I will move up to be with him. I will be happy and happy to be in the "little big city", be there with him. It's silly, but it's true. That's what I want to do.

I want to tell him that I won't be letting frivolous things come between our friendship. Whatever happens, I still want to travel, to go out, to talk, to do stuff with him. I won't come between him and Jon, or whoever else.

I know all that I wrote sounds crazy, but that is really what I think of. I don't do nothing crazy, and I won't do nothing crazy. For I do care, and I do care a lot.

And thinking about these things, it makes me want to live and breathe this beautiful earth. It makes me love my family and friends even more, to treasure what I have, to go for what I want. I say all this not because I'm a hopeless romantic, but because I do feel all this every living minute, every living second. Hope you are doing well, Dan.