Drops of Jupiter

It wasn't so long ago to the night that Ned and I met. I can still recall vividly the moment he walked in to our table at the pub, how for that whole time we were there my gaze never left him. How, as I learned more and more about the person he was, the more and more I felt he was a guy who completed me.

It isn't often that physical attraction and emotional connection interlock with effortlessness. Rare that the same attraction and connection was felt on both ends.

It wasn't possible between Ned and I. He was coming out of a relationship and was ready to leave. The day everything came crashing down.

I sent Ned an e-mail recently. I needed to tell him what I had to before he left. He replied, suggesting we hang out. I felt myself sucked into the web once again. I was utterly powerless to say no. In my mind, I asked myself over and over again: What good will seeing him do? I was only putting myself on the line for more pain. Yet I found myself helpless, helpless in stemming the tidal wave of my emotions, of my desire to see him again, a desire I was afraid would only lead to sorrow.