How It Feels

Today a student of mine gave me a sweatshirt with a huge "Purdue" emblazoned on it.

Many years ago, I gave gifts to my teachers in school because they were nothing short of marvellous.

A few years ago when I was still in Cal Berkeley, our Japanese class gave our sensei a huge thank-you card and she promptly burst into tears as she stepped out of the classroom for the last time.

Today I had a taste of the same sweet feeling.

And You Are Somebody

Through Steve, I found another awesome, thought-provoking blogger today. Dan has been through experiences that I'm new to, and he sounds like a really interesting and witty guy too. He's also the first Christian gay blogger I've met who's a recovering alcoholic.

Hey, and you've got a really great smile. ;-)

Today (Mar 30) I went back to revisit the wonderful post Dan wrote on whether relationships are worth it (Mar 26). I was disheartened to read that many readers left comments saying it is often too painful to be in a relationship. I've never been down the road of alcohol/drug addiction and failed relationships that must have ravaged many lives, and I don't want to be patronizing or presumptuous at all by making sweeping statements. Neither have I been far enough in life to speak from experience, nor can I speak for everybody. But I do know that in each and every one of us, there is a beautiful dream. And I feel very strongly that we need to embrace ourselves for who we are and follow the dreams that we have. Because I think we live for our dreams and our memories, and no matter what this life has in store for us, we need to live it with both spunk and passion.

Later on.... WOW. I'm discovering loads of cool blogs on Dan's blogroll. Right now, I'm lost somewhere near joey destino, I guess I'll continue my exploration tomorrow.

Laddies

Today The Simpsons went to England to meet J. K. Rowling and Sir Ian Mckellen. Homer got thrown into the Tower of London for rear-ending the Queen's carriage. Marge, Bart, and Lisa visit Homer's cell with a bunch of English tourists.

Englishman: Look at his great staring eyes!
English Child: Like saucers they are they are!
Bart: He claimed he was me father, he did!
Marge: Bart, you're not helping!
Bart: Poke the monster with a stick! Toppins a jab. Come on, queue up lads!

Which reminded me of a song I learnt as a kid fumbling through my mom's old cassette tapes. The third stanza goes:

Oh what, tell me what, does your Highland laddie wear?
Oh what, tell me what, does your Highland laddie wear?
A bonnet with a lofty plume, and on his breast a plaid,
And it's oh, in my heart I lo'ed my Highland lad.

I didn't realize how erotic this song was till just now.

Lone Star Steve

Steve has got a really spiffy blog down South. It's intensely sexy and full of spirit and it showed me a remarkable side to life I hadn't known before.

He's got a list of "100 things" about himself near the top. I really like reading such lists because the individual items are often connected in very clever ways, and also that they always tell me a great deal about a guy. Though I'd never be able to come up with such lists about myself, because they sound too much like work!

He's also got some angsty but thoroughly amusing takes. There's an interesting story about how some punks trashed his car, provoking my thoughts on what I would have done had I been in the same situation.

Most of all, read his post and the comments from readers on both sides of the divide about the scourge of HIV and how it has affected guys' lives (Mar 26). To be frank, I hadn't given much thought to the issue so close to many of our hearts, other than making sure I use protection all the time. But the truth is that there are many around us we love who have to live with the harsh reality. How does one make sense of all this? I'm really glad that I discovered something and someone great today.

Beautiful Boy

Original image copyright: Getty Images

If you guys watch or play tennis, then you probably heard of Robby Ginepri. He's such a sexy stud. Expressive eyes, seductive smile, most of all, have-I-told-you-what-a-turn-on-your-hair-is hair.

I'm gonna lick you up, baby

Kurt, a reader from Munich, Germany was terrific enough to send me these delicious pics that you see above of some totties licking each other up.

P.S. Kurt's an awesome, cute guy himself. I have his e-mail address ;-)

More Hot Guys

I'm feeling great today after the swim this morning and thinking through stuff yesterday. I feel like new today and I think I will also be tomorrow with even more swimming. I need that to be able to work harder, knowing I don't focus enough.

I also know that many of you like the pics I post; they tent me up too.



Since we all love them, I wanna post some more tonight so that we can all have sweet dreams. Recently I've been exploring the couples theme, fuck yeah, they're just so hot when they kiss.

More Radio Stuff

I just love these pictures so here's another one for all our eyes.

Not all of what they say on my favorite station is crap like the stuff in the post below. For example, today they got an "expert" in dating to come in and he gave some pretty nifty advice.

For the weather-beaten dudes, you probably already know this. Hot Lisa (the presenter) threw out a pretty damn good question: Men, how do you get out there and do all the getting to know the girl and the chasing stuff, without having to worry about the rejection? Once again, this is a hetero question, but it applies equally to us, doesn't it? The answer is, of course, to jot down your own number at the end of a great conversation and ask the hot guy you're eyeing to call you instead. Simple, right?

The hilarious thing is, they go on to discuss on the program the fact that often people meet in bars and they feel the pressure to make something happen. Now, isn't that a gay phenom?

My Favorite Station

The other day I was listening to my favorite station here, 106.7. It plays a good mix of 80's, 90's and contemporary stuff. The other day, the presenters of one of the programs (I think it's a program that broadcasts from Los Angeles) were talking about relationships (hetero) and how men don't express their feelings.

So the "expert" on the program (a woman) mentioned that men don't talk about their feelings because often they don't know how they feel. She talked about how girls and women would often say "I'm happy/sad/etc." in their conversations while men never seem to voice their emotions, and she attributes that to the fact that men are often unaware of how they actually feel.

I think that's crap.

OK, so maybe not every man is a sensitive or intelligent soul. But I don't express my feelings easily not because I don't know what they are -- in fact, I am completely utterly so aware of them sometimes they pain me. Surely it is because I feel so weak and vulnerable if I express my most private emotions, and few men like that.

We don't say "I'm so overjoyed/depressed/etc. today because my pet dog had puppies/had a bad tummy". We instead say "You know what's awesome/fucked up? Leila just gave me five small leilas/had the shits." It's almost obvious to us, when men say what we say, that we are, by association, feeling what we're feeling. There's almost no need to translate those feelings into words.

And maybe the reason we don't put feelings into words is that we know there's no point in doing so. If we feel on cloud nine when we're with guys we love, we almost prefer to live the moment for what it is, for fear that if we were to start telling each other those feelings, somehow the magic would be broken. If we feel like tearing ourselves apart, we prefer to keep things to ourselves because we know that even if we confide our feelings, we still have to pick up the pieces and deal with the problem after that.

Perhaps the most important reason is that we expect the people close to us to understand how we're feeling without the need to put them into words. To me at least, it is the stuff we don't say, the look in his eyes, the warm hug, the pat on the back, that speak the most.

Snow in Lafayette

I think one of the few things I will miss about Lafayette is the snow (and the rain). As folks know, it never is really, really cold when it's snowing. I like the snow because it is the most beautiful thing about winter here. I'd rather it just snow than get super cold. But it never works that way, of course.

This picture was taken the second day of spring (this last Tuesday) . That was probably the last snow of the season. I suddenly had the urge to capture the moment when I realized it.

Sleep

I'm so exhausted now I've got to sack up real soon. The truth is, I wanted to write my thoughts today because I was feeling a lot again. It's a hard time for me now, because I've been through a lot and realized much lately, and too many things are beyond my control right now. I'm feeling a lot of pressure knowing I've never been so afraid of failing before because nothing has ever mattered so much. I've never felt such a strong need to live up to my ideals before. The pressure got to me today and I couldn't control my emotions, which maybe explains why I'm feeling so done in.

There's too much to write, that I don't think I'll do justice to my thoughts if I were to start now. They are forbiddingly complex right now, I'm not sure if I can handle them.

All that keeps me alive these days is swimming. Honestly I don't know what I'd be like right now, if I couldn't go swimming everyday. The few minutes of absolute, complete calm I feel after I pull myself up from the water after the workout -- I need them like a drug everyday now.

Aussie Love

Such warm, warm sweetness is Mike's entry on Brenton's blog today. Mike & Brenton, forgive me for reproducing some of the words here without having asked. I feel the need to live the moment a little bit. I sincerely wish you the best, no matter what life has in store for the both of you down the road.

"For some strange reason it felt as if we had been together for ages. Everything has seemed so natural, and has come very easy. Even today at the Blue Mountains when we were walking up and down vertical cliff faces and I was watching Brenton nearly slide down the mountain on his backside, it seemed as if I had known him for years and actually expected him to take the quick (and painful) way down."

"It isn't easy meeting someone from halfway around the world and finding out that they have all the makings of Mr. Right. Sometimes the fairy tale doesn't always have a happy ending and that's what we are both scared of."

"For two people who have only known each other for a short time and in a limited fashion, we have become very comfortable talking to each other about things that most people never get to know."

"Over lunch yesterday we broached the subject of moving to another city to make this work. It's not something that either of us are taking lightly."

"However, no matter how realistic I am, or how fatalistic Brenton can be, it has been very difficult to look into his sexy blue eyes and not dream about this lasting forever."

"Dear Sydney boys:
I'd like to thank you for being too wrapped up with your own lives to get to know someone special. I'd like to share my gratitude for your unwillingness to find out that you've known a person who is both caring and thoughtful. For never picking up on his incredible sense of humor or getting to know his ability to make you laugh despite how you are feeling, I am in your debt."

For my pleasure tonight

All right, I'm going to bed earlier tonight with these two guys beside me.

Your favorite muscles

Thanks for all your votes. Your favorite muscles, based on 149 votes, are:

Pecs -- 40%
Abs -- 36%
Biceps -- 10%
Shoulders -- 9%
Lats -- 5%

Now we all know what parts to train up :-)

A little history about the evolution of the poll results. For many days, pecs was leading the pack at about 50% of total votes. A few days ago, a whole bunch of guys came over from Jared's site and kicked up the abs count so much that pecs was in danger of losing the race. Now we all know that Jared is an abs guy, but what we didn't know is that visitors to his site also love abs so much.

The poll's been archived so no more votes can go in. I will start a new one as soon as I gather enough material.

Pleasures of the Internet

The internet is made for gays. How else would I have made my way to Wisconsin or slept in a swanky Chicago hotel? I met a great friend of mine in a gay chatroom too. Not to mention the countless hours of porn or the fantastic online purchase of gay material. The advent of the internet age has done wonders for us.

As a student, there is an additional resource that one can take advantage of -- the mini-phenomenon known as the Facebook. Maybe it's not such a marvellous thing after all, but for the stalker, the lustful, or the romantic, there's plenty of information on the site about the hot dude next to you in lecture or the rippling guy you see at the pool every day.

For me, I have double the pleasure because I can access profiles of guys on two campuses, Cal Berkeley and Purdue. The contrast between guy populations in these two schools becomes even more clearly defined when I compare the guys that turn up when I do comparative searches on the two networks.

I was curious to find out what kind of guys would show up if I did the following search:

Sex: Male
Interested in: Men
School Status: Graduate Student

The search on Berkeley turned up a whopping 42 guys while that on Purdue turned up a measly 2. Given that the male graduate student populations on these two campuses are comparable, the number of gay males who are confident about their sexuality in Berkeley is 20 times that over here.

Now comes the interesting part: a sample of the cuties that popped up onscreen. Here are the guys from Cal. To preserve their anonymity, I haven't put in their full names. I think since I mostly have nice things to say about them, they won't be too hard on me for featuring them here, will they?

"I want a piece of your ass"

Name: D. B. from Massachusetts
Concentration: Chemical Biology
Interests: Working out, going out, blowing out my ears with my ipod, being a student forever, jen lin aka meatball
Clubs and Jobs: Chem 3 GSI, lab rotations
About Me: Check out my Harvard facebook profile where I actually have friends listed! (and a different picture up)

Meatball dude likes working out so that's cool as you and I can see from his good bod. Bein' a student forever? Hmm. Harvard and now Berkeley? Smart.

"You guys look cute together"

Names: B. P. (left) and B. B. from Berkeley (wootwoot) and Illinois
Concentrations: B. P. - public policy
B. B. - law
Interests: B. P. - travel, education, southern africa, blogs, a little movement called teach for america, i like to read, teach the kiddies, and dance, public policy, wine tasting, backpacking anywhere with trees and rocks
B. B. - sports, cooking, driving, working out, drinking, meteorology, politics, news, public policy
Clubs and Jobs: B. P. - maestro
B. B. - Student at Boalt, Teach for America
Favorite Music: B. P. - U2, carbon leaf, death cab, paul simon, REM, rufus, britney and company, kelly clarkson, BNL, Yusuf Islam, george winston for the mornings, skott freedman, alanis, fuel, howie day, indigo girls, mellencamp, miriam makeba, O.A.R., pearl jam, acapella stuff, umanji
Interesting Fact about B.B.: He's a Princeton alum.

What can I say, nauseating couple? You two are right for each other. B. P. -- you are one hell of an interesting guy. I dig all your interests, well, most. Your musical tastes are awesome. And you'd love my blog too. Tell me when you'd like to meet up. B. B. -- jeez, you're a bit too much like me.

"Wassup hottie fratboy"

Name: A. H. from Pennsylvania
Concentration: Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences; Public Policy
Interests: Playing guitar, politics, angsty music, acrylic painting, coffee, doing stupid things, radiation, whoring my life out on livejournal, throwing dinner parties, snowboarding, logic synthesis, alcohol, procrastination, philosophy, camping, racquetball, driving like a maniac, anything new
Favorite Music: Bright eyes, Ataris, The Faint, My Chemical Romance, The Used, Desaparecidos, The Futureheads, Saves the Day, Rilo Kiley, Nirvana, Sugarcult, Weezer, Taking Back Sunday, Jimmy Eat World, The Killers, Coheed and Cambria, Alkaline Trio, The Descendents, various 80s shit
About Me: I'm pretty laid back and easy to get along with. Life is short. Gotta enjoy it. I keep busy with some totally divergent things.
I want to meet anyone with a passion, whatever that may be; after all, it's yours not mine. I like people that are spontaneous and spunky, but I do definitely have a serious side too. Everything is good in moderation I suppose. Anyway say hi.

Well, dude, you've come to the right place. Cal's for guys like you with wacky hobbies. Angsty music? Jesus, you're so funky. Hey, I fucking like crazy stuff too. You strike me as a case in irony though, especially the part you describe yourself in the About Me section. Is it only me, or does it also seem to you that you still can't get a handle on this guy despite his lengthy intro?

Whatever it is, you're one lucky hot dude. Many of us haven't yet accumulated enough karma to be able to enjoy the life you have.

"Everyone wants you as his boyfriend"

Name: I. G. from Ontario, Canada
Concentration: City and Regional Planning
Interests: Traveling, live independent music, photography, canadian news media, economic development policy, questions of identity, baking cookies, crossword puzzles, beach volleyball, queer theory, cow-tipping, updating my friendster profile, new urbanism, transit-oriented development, racquet sports, rousing debates, cheese, making fun of american politics, scrabble, writing, salsa dancing

Hey buddy, you stimulate my mind. You're too sexy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


On the other hand, when I did the same search on Purdue's Facebook, only one guy caught my attention. But I'm not gonna put a picture of him here.
Name: Ned
Concentration: German Language and Literature; Linguistics
Clubs and Jobs: I love the clubs and am looking for a job
Favorite Music: classical piano, techno, house, circuit, 80's, general alternative etc.
Favorite Books: life of pi, ishmael, all quiet on the western front, alas babylon, memoirs of a geisha, anything on any language
Favorite Quote: Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny. ~ Frank Outlaw

I dig you, Ned. I really do.

Now I Found

A boy's blog I've just come across -- it's like a fantastic party. I had a great deal of fun there. The blog is sprightly, energetic and pretty popular. Oh yeah, the cute boy features (decent) pictures of himself prominently on the blog.

He's got a funny, devil-may-care line on his sidebar that says the gay ninja "links to no one". That isn't gonna stop me from linking to him on mine. He's on my "HOT" links now (that category's for bloggers I'm not in touch with, because they're too hot to handle), I'll check back when I feel like rockin' n rollin'.

He's on his way to becoming a lawyer in NYC, and I may be stepping the line here, but so that's a double whammy for a profusely witty one.

Sweet Smell of Underthings

I recently discovered I get so turned on by men wearing sexy boxers (preferably yellow or pink ones) or various kinds of cock-hugging briefs (white ones). Last time I said I was gonna buy some hot white briefs and I did. Calvin Klein has them figured out right. I never really understood why my (straight) friend was so thrilled everytime Calvin's undies were on sale at Macy's -- now I know why. I just feel so erotic right now lying in bed with nothing else but the soft white cotton wrapped around my tight ass. I'm going to sleep in them tonight, as I did last night and the night before.

My Boys

I wanted to post something fun and interesting about the Facebook tonight. But as I started doing that, I was reminded of Ned because his profile popped right up as I was trying to profile some dude. I feel totally fucked up now because I'm letting myself fall into crap again over him. And bloody flamin' hell I even "poked" him knowing I shouldn't have. I'm such a jerk he must be thinkin' God I don't ever want to have anything to do with this guy ever again.

But I did it and I want to face up to it. I don't want to bottle these things up again. So what if I'm in crap right now. That's normal or else all that happened would have been meaningless. As we speak, I'm picking myself up and letting things go.

When I'm better, maybe tomorrow I'll get around to posting what I originally wanted to. It's real cool I think and I won't want to give it up because of my dumbass stupidity.

I know the perfect antidote and that's some really sweet pics of beautiful boys. I found an enormous stash of those last night.

Breaking Out

Lately I've been feelin' and thinkin' through lots about my life because of Ned. I feel I need to really, really confront and embrace myself today. I've talked to many people who matter in my life the past couple of weeks and all sorts of thoughts have raced through my mind a million times. I need to completely lay it out once and for all and say,"This is who I am. Now I can finally move on."

"There are many things that I want to be and to experience in life, and I shall unabashedly say today that I feel envious of many others who have found the freedom and means to enjoy them."

I don't want to feel this way because it is negative.

I feel the need to share the love I have with other people. And I want to do that.

I have my own journey in life to take. I have to be strong so that I can be free.

Check this out

Checked out this Aussie mate's blog after he left a nice comment about this dude's hot trail. I like the look of his blog. It's very well-designed -- the color scheme, the fiery red boxes on the right sidebar. Even better are the posts on his travels to Chile, Argentina and Brazil.

His language is smart, sarcastic and loaded with irony. He also has a great blogroll of clever people being whiny and ranting about everything you can think of. I'm including a link on my sidebar to his blog so that if I feel like taking a break from hot guys and raising my stress level by listening to (or rather reading about) grouses, I can check all those other blogs out.

I'm havin' so much fun, just like these two boys are.

St Patrick's Day

A lot of thoughts on St Patty's. In the past, it was to me just an excuse for drunken revelry, but I love Irish boys now. Listening to the radio just now, there's a group in (of all places) New York called Irish Queers who're banned from marching in their annual St Patty's parade by some bigots, or so I heard. I checked out their website -- go take a look.

I spent some time today fixing the three-column layout issues and I'm proud to say I've ironed all of them out, so that even on Mozilla Firefox, everything looks spick and span. OK, actually I used some tricks to mask whatever I couldn't fix, but hey, if I could do this professionally I would, but since I'm not, it's really the end result that matters.

It's so fun to do all this, and I'm inspired by my fellow bloggers, especially my gay buddies. I can't describe to you how important this blogging stuff is to me and all of us in so many ways, without getting too long-winded. All I know is I want to keep doing this for the forseeable future.

I love my white briefs so much now, I think I'm gonna buy some more tomorrow. I have in mind even hotter ones at the other department store. I'm so stoked, I can't believe, on such a small thing.

I want to sleep with you forever

I want to cuddle up right now.

Template Issues

I've got a couple of people asking me about the cute little banner at the top of the page as well as about the three-column layout.

I really liked the layout that Alex and Jared have on their blogs with the two sidebars so I got in touch with Alex and he gave me some great tips. I found some three-column templates on the web but I couldn't get them to implement correctly without first razing everything to the ground. After some searching, I found a nice little article on glish.com/css. I improvised with what they provided because again, I couldn't make their template work correctly. Essentially I used position:absolute; for the text in the center, while using float:left; and float:right; for the two sidebars. This works for my browser but I've heard it doesn't for certain people (yeah with Mozilla Firefox, it screws up). I dunno, I've tried various other methods, but they don't give. I don't think the method I'm using is even good because I've noticed the text jumps as the page is loaded. Any ideas?

The banner tip was provided by Alex. You just have to add a line in the CSS for the #header para: background: url(http://(YOUR PIC URL HERE) no-repeat center center;. This essentially places the picture for your banner in the background of your header without any repeating patterns and in the center, with your blog title superposed on top. You then have to adjust header and blog-title heights, widths, paddings, margins, borders etc. to make it look right.

All this blogging stuff is pretty fun.

P.S.:-

Alrighty, after some more snoopin' around, I've modified the positioning codes in the CSS to make stuff display better on Mozilla. I'm using position:absolute;right:75%; for the left sidebar, position:absolute;left:25%;right:25% for the center text, and position:absolute;left:75% for the right sidebar.

This makes displaying on IE6 perfect, since there's no text jumping due to the float command anymore. On Mozilla, there are still issues with some text being out of line (I dunno what's causing that), and also maybe because of the fixed-width, variable-width thing (?), you gotta resize the window to see everything fit nicely. At least now the main text doesn't fall right smack on the left sidebar no more.

P.S.#2:-

Hey, just a note. If you click on view-->source, you can see the HTML code for my page, so you can pretty much see how I did the banner thing. Also you can see how I did the positioning stuff for the sidebars too -- which, for the web-savvy ones, isn't good enough at all. Go to Alex's website for his very nice layout: he uses float:left; and float:right;. Somehow that doesn't work well with the rest of the stuff I have.

P.S.#3:-

This just goes on and on. I realize now that if I used position:absolute;right:75% etc. as described in P.S., I wouldn't get it completely right in either IE6 or mozilla. So I'm gonna stick with my guns and go back to the float:left, float:right, and position:absolute; thing that I had earlier. Sorry Mozilla guys, I have to bow down to the IE6 god because that is what I have on my laptop. That said, Alex somehow has it completely right on both IE6 and mozilla... drool...

I'm Feelin' Sexy

Today after my swim, I felt so sexy as I was putting on my white briefs in the locker room. My body always feels nice, smooth and tight after a swim, and the briefs, having shrunken to a body-hugging size after a couple of washes, gave me the perfect sensation on my crotch and butt. I was sure the guy was checking me out, well ok, maybe he wasn't, but I liked the idea ;)

There's something inviting about guys in white briefs -- the spandex, the tightness.

I've given my blog some looks today -- I love the three-column layout, the borders, and the banner -- thanks to some help from fellow bloggers, internet resources, and some hours testing stuff out. It's real fun doing all this, I wouldn't mind doing something of this sort professionally, it satisfies the creative bug in me.

Also, I really wanna make a list of music I like but tonight there's precious little time left so I'm gonna sow the seed by just listing a few for the time being.

Thoughts

I didn't work hard enough today, although I'm absolutely winded now after cranking through the numerical code in the afternoon. I'm going to bed earlier tonight so that I can go in early tomorrow. I tell myself I have to ganbatte, to realize my dreams. I need all the focus and encouragement. I draw my strength from all the feelings I've been having.

At times, I still think of Ned. I know I won't ever see him again, because I've made that impossible. I want to tell him I shouldn't have said those stupid things. I also know that I will frequently wonder how he's doing. I will miss his voice and the words that he said will ring in my mind often.

It is almost certain that I won't have the time tonight, but I want to put up a list of the music that I like somewhere on this blog. I think that'll turn out great. I'm becoming much more of a junkie for loadsa stuff I've always been interested in.

Tonight I'm excited because there's gonna be a great match between Federer and Gasquet tomorrow. I don't think ESPN will get round to showing it because they've scheduled the broadcasting so that most of the time, only American players get coverage, which is a pity.

P.S. Cool stuff... if you take a look at Vancouver's tourism site, they've got gay/lesbian travel as one of their big draws... now isn't that what I call a great city.

I left my heart in San Francisco

A few things got me thinkin' about San Francisco again today. I can't get it out of my mind and it's distracting me so I got round to sneaking this entry in. I know I shouldn't be doing this and I gotta be focussing on my work at hand ;)

There is one kind of love that sweeps you off your feet at first sight. I felt it when I went to Vancouver for my first time. This love strikes you immediately and is so intense it changes you.

Then there is another kind of love that grows on you. It feels so strong you are afraid to take hold of it when you first encounter it. But its beauty, sweetness, and strength empower you to overcome that fear and embrace it with all you've got. Then, madly deeply in love, your heart is stolen.

Musings

Just read some dude mentioning on his blog that he couldn't wait for spring to come to San Francisco as it was cold out in the winter blah blah. I won't mention who he is cos I quite like the guy actually. In fact, I think he's absolutely nice and cool .

But I won't cease to launch a scathing attack on the fact that you're totally spoilt, buddy. Yea, completely utterly soft. And I have the wherewithal to comment because I've lived in the tropics, in the bay area, and in the middle of this country for years on end. I think we should switch places -- maybe you'll find this place so warm in the winter you'll never wanna go back. Ok, I know you grew up in Florida, but hey you're in fucking gayland and you still whinge.

To register my displeasure, here's a pic of paradise on earth accompanied by a hot dude to bring up the temperatures over on my side.

The Wide Sky

Hey Guys,

I suddenly felt the urge to look at some pictures of oceans, blue skies, mountains, sweet beautiful green trees. This is a breathtaking picture of the Na Pali coast in Kaua'i. I thought it looked absolutely stunning.

Today I'm thinking of those blue skies, with the pretty white clouds hanging over the cliffs in the horizon. I peer through the trees into the majestic expanse and see the wide sky beckoning to me. And I feel strongly right now that the clear azure sky is like a vast canvas for me to paint my life on. All I have to do is to seize the brushes I have in my hands.

Just Looks

Though muscles are always good to look at, I discovered recently that I have something going for men who don't look that ripped at all. And I actually prefer the look and feel of soft white pinkish untanned skin over darker sun-kissed skin.

Also, I think there's a certain kinda look on a man's face I have a soft spot for, but I find it difficult to give it an accurate description without being unfair to the other types that I also have a liking for. I don't think any of the hot pics I've posted here have that kind of look yet.

And I'm only talking about looks.

P.S. Don't you like this guy's trail?

Ganbatte

I found this tempting picture recently and I decided to post it here today before it collects dust. It's one of the few pics I've seen of hot naked guys that made me laugh out loud... yeah it was that funny for me.

I was just reading some guy's blog (u got gay) and felt an odd tingling sensation inside me. It's just a wonderful feeling to see something that strikes a chord in you. Canadian (I love Canada), with an Aussie mate who's learning French (I'm also trying to learn that now), who also happens to read that aussie blog (I just got in touch with Brenton of aussielicious), who's an "evil" (go read his profile, it's funny) lawyer (I once was accepted into law school but decided to pursue something else), but yet when I just read on and on, then I decide he's so different and interesting too... it's so challenging to my mind in more good ways than one when, if one can project what goes on in each gay guy's life onto a tapestry, that tapestry must definitely be a masterpiece no man can possibly re-create. Like if you look at this German boy's blog, no doubt he's even more of a "beginner" than I am (though I think he'll surpass me real soon), you won't disagree when I say I think he's just so intriguing.

I can't help but recall now a recent e-mail from an old friend I met during my days at good 'ol Cal Berkeley. The both of us studied Japanese together for a long time and had the most awesome of days doing that -- even now she says that she found those classes the most fun classes she's ever had (and I agree 110%). She's back in HK working, but she told me that she was gonna be studying for the Japanese Language Proficiency Exam, but she needs to ganbatte for that. Now ganbatte is a Japanese word that's not easily translatable to English, but essentially it means to work hard for something. Curiously in Japanese, you don't normally say good luck to each other (like how you'd say that to a friend who was taking an exam), BUT you would totally say ganbatte in many situations -- I guess that's part of their culture, where everything comes through by your effort and luck is something that's accepted as part and parcel of all that happens and doesn't factor into consideration anymore.

And so the fact that you and I can be here reading interesting blogs and finding out about the wonderful and amazing lives of guys out there is, no doubt, a matter of luck (which is a given) but more importantly, it's also a matter of our own effort. I replied telling her how cool I felt that she was taking up the challenge (after all, I was always better than her in the language and I think it's no mean feat), and that we ALL need to ganbatte in our lives. Yea, whether it's mesmerizing words that one wishes to craft, or tantalizing muscles one craves for, or whatever for that matter, they all have to come from some real substance that one has to ganbatte for. Sure things (or people) may look or seem laid-back and easy-going, but they can be for this very reason.

Kissing

I'd say kissing is my favorite activity. It gives me an indescribably saccharine feeling. I can go without fucking if I can french someone the whole night, but I once got fucked without any kissing and I hated it. I also like to wrap my arms around a guy and smell his neck and naked body. I haven't found good pics of those yet though. For now, I'll make do with some delicious kiss shots.

How's it going, everyone?

Sorry I haven't been posting lately. I've been overwhelmed by stuff the past few days. But I think they're behind me now. I still have lotsa things to take care of though, cos I'm planning some right now. Hope I'll find something cool.

Vote for your favorite muscle

This guy's fucking hot. He's got every muscle yellin' out "lick me". I've used this hot dude's pic to pose the next poll question. Which muscle attracts your attention most in a guy?

I want the world to know

I deleted what I wrote here the other day cos I know it all and much more by heart now. I've been feeling lots of emotions lately and I've come to realize lotsa stuff about myself. It's been a roller-coaster but a great one.

Hey, u know what, dudes? There is nothing more powerful, more strong. It changes you. It brings out the best in you. It makes you realize like never before how beautiful and strong it can be.